The Afterlife
by gusano
Summary: Bella was turned into a vampire during the battle between Edward and Victoria at the end of Eclipse. Her love leaves but he swears he'll come back for her. Seventeen years later she meets a human boy who resembles to her long lost love, or is he?
1. Loss

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter one –Loss -

Confusion was all over the place. I could hear Sam in the distance barking and snarling at that beautiful new vampire who wanted to kill him more than anyone else, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the other two vampires.

The red headed one had been moving forward, closer everytime, without losing me from her sight. I wasn't moving, I didn't dare to breathe paralyzed with fear. I felt his fear too, he wanted to get closer to me to protect me with his body but he didn't risk a single inch to allow her to get closer to me.

Suddenly I heard a deep howling; it all happened within a tenth of a second. I felt the pain spreading through my veins. It was a pain I definitely remembered.

I could hear Edward's voice filled with all the anger he was capable of, but at the same time filled with despair and pain. "Leave her alone, it's me you want!" He pleaded.

Something really wrong was happening. He wasn't there near me, he couldn't be.

The woman let my broken body fall and I heard her laughing, at last.

There was no way Alice could've known that, the red headed vampire had changed her mind. She wasn't setting her revenge on me…, she decided to get revenge on both of us and though she knew she wasn't getting out of there alive, she risked everything.

Victoria had thought of just one thing since James was killed by the Cullen family -to take away from us what had been taken away from her for good, her soul mate, her companion, her love.

I remember Edward told me about the solitude his kind had to endure, centuries passing by, everything changed but them. They could never trust anyone, could never get too close to another being, human or vampire. Human lives mean seconds for a vampire, there is no chance to get interested in one of our kind before time's up for our fragile species. Between vampires it is different. He once told me that most of them lived by themselves, only getting in groups for need, but didn't last long. Very few had the gift of meeting their other half, but they had to wait for ages, as he did for me.

I understood what it meant to Victoria when James died. It was a sentence to walk through eternity all by herself. Their kind doesn't find that bond twice in life. Stepping into her shoes, I couldn't even imagine how life would be without Edward. I've lost him once, but then I knew he was alive. I couldn't exist in a world he wasn't in.

The pain was substituted by other feeling, even though it felt as if burning stabs were cutting every inch of my skin and guts over and over with every beat of my accelerated heart.

Emptiness...

I opened my eyes wide looking for him, only his face and the sound of his voice could take away the pain. But he wasn't near me. All of a sudden I understood what was going on. My eyes focused again. The novice vampire had injured Sam very seriously and had left him out of combat; now he was involved in a bloodier battle.

The three vampires moved very fast. I couldn't distinguish which part was whom, I could only see the red flames of her hair. My time was almost done. I knew he had been hurt. I knew it from the way he shouted my name. "No Bella, not you, I can't allow it!".

He used all his strength and got rid off the new one whose arms and legs had been torn apart. But still, he wasn't near me to suck away the pain.

I wish I could've moved, could've done something to help him. I will never forgive myself for being so weak and fragile. I would've taken his pain over the one I was feeling. It was happening, the thing I wanted the most was happening in the worst moment. I wished it ended soon so I could help him, but it didn't and the process went on.

One last sound. A crack. She was still standing on her own. My mind didn't dare even think about it. I tried to scream for help but not a single noise came out from my burning throat.

Within all her bitterness and cruelty she allowed him to creep towards me. I could finally see his bronze eyes, which hadn't belonged to a vampire, I could've sworn they were full with tears. When his eyes met mine, he knew. It was too late for both of us.

"Bella now I know I have a soul and it belongs to you forever." He said while touching my face gently.

The physical pain I was experiencing disappeared, but the new pain felt worse. What was he trying to tell me? I could tell by the way he looked he was going to need Carlisle's attention, but I was definitely not prepared for what was about to happen.

Victoria approached to us slowly with a smile filled with satisfaction upon her face, and then, another endless crack. This time I could not see anything, just felt his cold body laying over mine, and then, just a whisper came out from him.

"I swear I will come back for you, you have an eternity to wait for me, we will see each other again."

That was it. I closed my eyes hoping not to open them ever again. I let the excruciating pain envelop me, wishing it to never end. I let myself into a very deep and dark hole, an endless fall. It was all my fault. He was gone because of me.

A big brown wolf jumped from nowhere reaching Victoria's body with a fierce strength. Within seconds her body was broken in pieces too. Jacob adopted his human figure when he realised what had happened. He first saw Edward's body, then he saw mine.

In the other side of the meadow another battle had taken place. The Cullens and the wolves were finished with the new vampire army, and several piles of death bodies were burning all over the place.

Embry, Seth, Collin and Leah all howled in chorus. Before turning into his human shape Jacob let them see the torn bodies of their friends and in that very moment Alice knew. By the look in her eyes all the Cullens knew something terrible had happened. Carlisle and Emmett ran as fast as they could, Alice and Jasper shared a painful look, and Rose ran to hold Esme who couldn't move at all.

"They're all right Esme." Rose lied.

Carlisle never thought his eyes would ever witness such a scene. Edward was his son, his favorite, the very first member of his family. Jacob was embracing the two motionless bodies, mourning so badly he would've moved even Aro.

Emmett saw everything from a different perspective. He roared fiercely and attacked Jacob without any compassion, taking his strength to its limits.

"You stupid dog!, what have you done to them?!" Emmett roared.

Jacob didn't fight back. He didn't care if he got killed in that very same place and moment. He had nothing left to live for.

Jasper had to calm Emmett down, and slowly they approached the two corpses. Rose and Esme fell on their knees holding the cold pair of Edward's hands which where still attached to the other bodies hands. My body.

Suddenly without any warning, Alice came from the back and shouted "Wait, she is still here, she is one of us now!".

Jacob's eyes were wide open, still blurred with tears. His loved one was alive but was his enemy by nature now.


	2. Wakening

Chapter two –Awakening-

The only thing I was aware of was the pain. I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to face eternity. I still hoped everything was a dream, the worst nightmare I could ever had. I clung to the idea that I would wake up and feel Edward's cold body against mine as every morning. I knew it wasn't a nightmare. As soon as I opened my eyes I would have to deal with the eternal sorrow of living without him. I wasn't going to be able to bear it.

I've always thought it was a punishment for my pride, how could I ever think I deserved Edward, immortality, grace? There was no way the girl I used to be deserved complete happiness.

Couldn't Victoria have a crueler revenge? She was sure of something, she wouldn't continue living without James anymore so acted as her life wasn't worth living; she would risk it all. She enjoyed ending with Edward's existence letting him know I would stay in this life forever, alone. While I was laying immobile suffocating with pain watching how I lost the meaning of my life without being able to stop it.

She put me in her place forever, switched the roles. The worst part of it is that she knew before Jacob finished with her, that I wouldn't dare to end with my life after he made me that promise, we would meet each other again. I wasn't sure about it but I would absolutely spend eternity finding out.

Edward said many times he wasn't sure he owned a soul. I know that in the very moment when he was about to leave, he realised of the opposite. What we felt for each other needed to be contained somewhere, not only our brains, and it was going to last forever. With that thought my heart stopped beating.

I lost sense of time, could've been days or weeks in that state. Slowly the pain started to leave my toes, fingers, feet, hands and so on; until it disappeared completely. The next new feeling was the unquenchable thirst. Another discovery, I could smell everyone around me, all the Cullens except Alice and Jasper were there, and of course, Jacob.

I didn't want to open my eyes until Dr. Carlisle talked to me in a very sweet tone "You're alright Bella, don't be afraid."

I forced myself to open my eyes. They looked perplexed, no one had any idea how I would react, maybe my first attempt would be to attack them all. It was like Edward told me, I could hear everything, see the complete shade of colors, detect every vibration, and there was the thirst too. It was just as if he was going to get into the room in any moment and teach me everything about my new existence. I started looking for him everywhere, moving so fast it seemed I hadn't moved at all.

Rosalie stopped me. "Don't Bella, he is not here, don't punish yourself." I always knew she didn't like me, but her embrace was so sincere, totally compassionate that I stopped looking for Edward. I turned around and saw the whole family, they were all devastated and at the same time eager to help me through the transition.

Jacob was standing in a corner apart from everybody, staring at me with such curiosity that I could only count 3 blinks of his eyes; he was devastated as well. He wasn't very fond of Edward but he didn't wish him any harm. Referring to me, he had lost all his chances and hopes, no way a werewolf and a vampire could end up together. He realised he didn't care, he would happily sacrifice his feelings now he knew I was alive.

Emmet was ready to take me to hunt. No one could believe I hadn't done any attempt to feed myself, specially having a warm blood wolf in the same room, despite the disgusting smell.

Suddenly, all the memories arrived like a flush to my head. Edward had been the love of my human life and now he was gone, and I was going to forget him with time like every other memory I had. I couldn't allow that to happen. I decided to repeat in my mind every second since I met Edward. I stayed there between Rosalie's arms while everyone tried to comfort me.

I didn't breath, didn't speak, didn't move and didn't feed at all for I don't know how many days. The thirst was unbearable, but I needed to suffocate it so nothing distracted me from thinking about him; it was a complete torture.

Carlisle talked to me everyday though it seemed he was talking to a statue. He told me so many things about Edward's life and that he truly believed that we all kept our souls.

Little by little I started to wake to the world. I knew I needed to deal with my human family, make my loss less painful to them. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life, but certainly I was not abandoning Charlie and Rennee just like that.

Somewhere between lines I knew Alice and Jasper weren't there. Could've they gone to inform the Volturis about what had happened? What for? They surely knew. Did they blame me and didn't want to see me anymore? My doubts were cleared up when Esme talked to me one morning for the first time since I became one of them. She was so gentle and kind but I couldn't stand to look her into her eyes. She told me that they would be my family if I decided to stay, they would never leave me alone. When saying that she gasped, Alice and Jasper had already left. "Their departure has nothing to do with you."

"Alice thinks it's her fault, she blames herself for not knowing before it happened; we decided to give her time; that's all we have." Esme told me that Alice was deeply ashamed for not staying with me to endure, that she loved me and was looking forward to come back someday.

I don't know what Esme did or said, but she made me feel loved and needed, so I finally could look directly at those topaz eyes. She behaved as my own caring mother.

She took me out to hunt for the very first time. It was scary, I didn't fear I could get hurt, but the immense strength and velocity I owned were overwhelming. After that experience I knew I was meant for my new existence, it was all meant to be that way.

I didn't speak too much the days that followed. I was completely focused in my pain, I didn't want to think in anything else but him. It wasn't as the time he decided to abandon me for my own sake when I did the stupidest things and decided to shelter myself under Jacob's company. I wanted to be all alone, to feel until the last nerve the despair, the emptiness inside of me. I needed to feel it until the last consequences, until there was nothing else to feel.

Above all, I needed to convince myself that he would be back, and meanwhile I would prepare myself to be the one he would live again for.


	3. Goodbyes

Chapter 3 –Goodbyes-

Time loses sense for vampires, I hadn't realised Jacob had been waiting for me.

When Esme and I came back from my first hunt I saw him. He had the saddest face I'd ever seen.

"It's all done, isn't it?" He whispered while approaching to me very slowly as if he feared I would attack him.

"Now you're too far away from me though we're an inch apart, I guess everything was meant to happen this way..." he continued. "I still can't believe that two days ago we shared a kiss in the meadow before everything went wrong, it sounds so silly now." I couldn't remember kissing him because that memory belonged to my human life, but indeed it sounded really stupid.

I wanted to speak, to tell him no way it could be meant like that, but I saw so deep pain in his eyes that I let him continue.

"I will never be grateful enough to thank for you life, or whatever it is now." He said. "And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness for not saving you both, I will always damn myself for being so selfish and stubborn."

" I plead for your forgiveness, I know I promised to be there for you and I failed." Jacob cried.

Two diamond tears came out from Jacob's eyes while talking to me and I could feel something inside me broke again for a second time, but it couldn't be my heart, I didn't have any. I was so lost in my own suffering that I hadn't paid any attention to anyone else's pain.

He was so certain about everything, he couldn't be my savior now, and probably we wouldn't see each other again. But I didn't blame him at all, in any sense. My soul or whatever it is inside me only keeps the biggest gratitude I am able to feel.

"He lies with his parents, in a cemetery in Chicago" He mumbled between tears. "I'm so sorry you couldn't be there to say goodbye."

A blaze of horror thrilled my entire body, I had never pictured his cold motionless body until then and I couldn't take it, not even Jacob could hold me to stand up again, I let my knees bend weak. He sat beside me to comfort me, I wished I had tears to shed.

So many years have happened since then and I still feel the same exact sorrow when remembering the scene. My beloved best friend Jacob was broken apart trying to support me as always even if it cost him his whole heart.

"Ch... Charlie" Jacob finally said, "I have to prepare you for what's next, he and Renee..."

"What, what about them?" I asked with terror.

"They think you are dead too, I told them the bad news. I'm sorry, I swear it's been the second most difficult thing to say, I'm really sorry, I didn't know what to do." He continued.

Some time later I found out that the Cullens and the wolf pack had agreed that declaring both dead was for the best. They had to decide for me, so anyone knew, specially my parents what I had become; they wanted to protect them.

Though I knew it was better for them, I couldn't help feeling so angry against fate; it had taken away everything I had, my love, my life, my family. I can't imagine how Charlie and Renee had felt.

They were told Edward and I suffered a terrible car accident while driving to La Push to meet Jacob. Billy Black and Dr. Cullen had supported Jacob's story, and the pack prepared the scenario so it was credible to Charlie, the chief of police. There was nothing left of the silvered Volvo but twisted burnt steel. It was said our bodies were unrecognizable.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, a tale of my own death. Renee and Phill arrived some hours later to the funeral services. Jacob told me they were very calmed and peaceful. Esme spent hours and hours talking to Renee trying to make my own mother understand and accept her lost while Esme was still managing to accept hers. Esme's lost was for real, she actually had lost her son.

"And how is he?" I asked referring to Charlie when I could finally calm down and articulate understandable words.

I knew Renee was stronger and she had Phill, but how could Charlie go on after losing his only child. How did I manage to continue listening I don't know.

"He's not alone, Billy has been with him the whole time, and Dr. Cullen has paid him some visits, I guess they both comfort themselves in sort of a way." Jacob answered.

"I got to see him, I need to say goodbye!" I cried.

"No Bella! You would only make him more miserable, time will heal his wounds though he'll never forget you." Jacob said. "I will be there for him instead of you, I owe you this. I will become a son to him and I will take care of him." He swore.

I truly believed him, I knew Charlie wouldn't be alone, but still hurt so much. How could everything have gone that far? Why? Whose decision had it been? Who wanted to make us so infinitely miserable?

After recovering myself I asked "Jacob so what is the first most difficult thing to say?" Could there be more? And of course there was...

"The first and most difficult thing for me to say now and ever is..." he gasped.

"Goodbye Bella, this is the last time we will ever meet again..." Jacob completed.

"Now your folks believe you're gone, there's nothing to attach you here, please Bella, leave, I implore you." He begged while he took a deep breath not to surrender into tears again.

"The treaty wasn't broken, the Cullens didn't transform me, it was her!" I replied. "Why do we have to leave? No! Where is he going to look for me if I go?"

My ears didn't hear, my eyes didn't see. Everything was so horribly painful already to bear another departure. But it wasn't Jacob leaving. The Cullens had promised the wolves that they would leave Forks, and I was already one of them so that included myself. Of course I had the chance to choose. And I did. I chose to become Isabella Marie Cullen. They were the only ones I could attach to to continue existing, the only ones who would never let me forget.

I guess Jacob read the determination in my eyes, that was it.

"Now your kind will leave Forks we probably won't need to transform into wolves again, so I guess we will all get older and go on with our lives, unless you decide to come back one day..." Jacob said trying to smile. "And I'll be the happiest person if you decide so, I'll always think of you Bella. I'll remember your sweet chocolate eyes and the way you make me feel till the day I die. But above all I wish you find peace and acceptance."

And he left.

I couldn't recover the strength to stand by myself until some hours later. The house was empty. It would be as if the Cullens never existed.

After giving the empty space a last glance I saw Rosalie.

"I feel as empty as this place." I told her.

"I know and I promise in his memory that I will become the sister I've never been, I'll do my best to comfort you Bella." She answered. "Now come with me, you need to say goodbye to your human life so you can start over again. But first we need to go hunting so you can handle human proximity."

And so we did. After hunting, Rosalie drove me to Charlie's house, and I watched him sleep the whole night as Edward did with me. I gave him a goodbye kiss that made him shiver. I could swear he was dreaming of me because he muttered my name "Goodnight Bella, be happy." Before leaving the house I entered my old room, it still smelled like him, like sun, like our meadow.

The next morning we went to the airport, I could see Renee and Phill in the distance and I waved them goodbye; she surely felt my presence and Rose prevented Renee from seeing me when she turned around looking for someone.

That was my last day in Forks. All became nothing more but shadows around me, darkness. The eclipse had started. Would I see the moon again?


	4. The beginning

Chapter 4 –The beginning-

Several months passed through as water between my fingers. We visited the Denali clan after moving from Forks. They just couldn't believe what had happened, it was impossible.

Eleazar, Carmen and Kate were in a deep shock, they made their best effort to comfort us.

Tanya received the news in the most awful way, she felt guilty for being angry at us earlier when Laurent had been killed by the wolves because of me. Her sister Irina had left the clan after that.

"If only we knew you had been threatened by Victoria I would've convinced Laurent to tell me all about her plans, I could've helped." She said with her voice about to break.

"There's nothing we could have done, neither Alice saw what was about to happen." Carlisle replied.

"And of course having the wolves there didn't help her visions right?" Tanya answered angrily.

"I know you don't care but I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them, maybe none of us would!" I shouted.

"Relax Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, you were Edward's beloved and for that simple reason you're part of this family too, and of course we all care about you." Tanya's words were so convincing that I didn't have to do my best to cool down.

"It just reminds me that Irina left so broken hearted when she heard Laurent was dead, by the wolves." Tanya added. "I just miss my sister very much, we know nothing about her."

Actually I sympathized with Irina. We both knew what it is to lose the reason of your existence. I understood Laurent didn't want to hurt me, it's just the way it is, some live as the predators we actually are, some others don't; and I truly felt sorry for Irina. I wished the wolves hadn't finished with her partner like that. There must be a way to coexist without carrying for centuries the hatred and the sense of revenge. Speaking for myself I didn't need revenge at all, nor did then neither do now. All I ever needed is peace.

One night I heard Carlisle and Eleazar talking, they were whispering actually. "I am still astonished by how fast Bella has gained self control, she doesn't look like a novice. And you say she's never felt attracted to humans' blood?" Eleazar asked.

"She has never shown herself eager to feed on humans, she ignores them. I guess the pain of having lost Edward distracts her from that part of her being." Carlisle answered. "She swears that he will come back for her."

The Denalis asked us about our plans. Actually we didn't have any. Alice and Jasper had been gone for some time then, no news at all. Rosalie and Emmett wanted to stay, they promised to themselves that they would take care of me after Edward and so they did. We all became very close, as real siblings. I guess we all needed, including Carlisle and Esme to stay together, it made life more bearable.

While staying in Alaska, we all talked about Edward very much. I found out so many things I didn't know about him, but most of all, I found out I hadn't forgotten a single minute since we met.

We all laughed for the very first time in a very long while, recalling this and that. It almost felt as if he was there with us.

And he was. With me. He never left. I could feel his presence in every move I made. So I decided to go on, I could live with that.

I suggested to move to Chicago, it was my best shot to be near him, to learn more about his human life. Who was the sick masochistic lion now?

"I don't think it's a very good idea." Carlisle suggested. "It could be worst for us, we need to let him go."

"Please, I don't want to be selfish, it's just I could never say goodbye." I begged. "It doesn't have to be forever, I just want to know the place where he was born."

"Fair enough, the girl has a point." Carmen said. "You all need to embrace him so you can finally let him go." She concluded.

But I was sure I wasn't going to let him go.

Esme supported my idea, so it was decided. Even though Chicago isn't always cloudy, it has long winters with very short days, so Carlisle would get a job in the night shift at the General Hospital.

"I've always wanted to try arts!" Emmett said. "I could try the Art Institute of Chicago, it sounds like a good idea."

We arrived to the windy city during a cold autumn night. A car was waiting for us at the airport. We were heading to a house Dr. Cullen owned.

"I need to see the place where he lies before nothing else." I suggested.

"Ok, let's go, we want to say hello too." Carlisle agreed.

"I'd rather go by myself if you don't mind." I replied.

The car stopped outside the Oakswood cemetery. I got out of the car and I could feel the cold breeze though I had the same low temperature. The wind was blowing hard. The doors were shut by then, no visitors were allowed at that hour. I knocked the door of a little house

and an old man with alcoholic breath came out, he was the guard. I don't know if it was fear or the look in my face, but he let me in without even asking.

"I am looking for a family grave, I wonder if you could tell me how to find it." I told the man.

"Of course young lady, I've worked here for thirty years, I know every grave." He said. "Just tell me the family's name."

"Masen, Mr Edward and Elizabeth Masen." I spat each word slowly.

The man who was carrying a flashlight turned at me when he heard the names. "Ah, I remember that grave very well, a relative from the Masens was buried some months ago; it was a very lonely service, only a slim blond man and his wife came to say goodbye. I wonder who they were. I didn't know the Masens had any descendants, I heard their only boy lies with them, they all died of Spanish influenza around the 1920's." He taught me.

"1918 for being exact, and yes, that's the one I'm looking for." I said.

The guard seemed confused and curious, what could a young girl would possibly want in a cemetery that couldn't wait until next morning. He was afraid, so I said trying to calm him "He was the Masens' great grandson, and I am the widow. I couldn't be present at the funeral because I was recovering from the terrible accident where he lost his life, so now I'm fine I decided to come, and it's the first thing I've done since I arrived to the city a couple of hours ago. I'm sorry for the hour, I know I shouldn't be doing this."

The guard seemed to understand, he headed me to the grave and offered me the light. I accepted it though I didn't need it, I can see perfectly in the darkness.

"I will leave you alone, there must be so much you want to say, so just turn off the light and on again several times and I will come back to guide you to the exit when you're ready mam." He kindly told me.

I got nearer with very slow steps. That grave was the physical confirmation of his death. I knelt in front of it. I could still read the epitaph written on the gravestone.

"_Edward and Elizabeth Masen lie beneath this stone taking care of their son Edward's eternal sleep"._ The date was all blurred. A second epitaph had been added recently and I touched with the tip of my fingers the engraved letters _"Edward Anthony Cullen Masen, dearest son, brother and husband. We will miss you eternally."_ I felt a bolt of electricity when I touched the grave, he wasn't my husband by law, but indeed by feelings. And I realised that eternity wasn't long enough for missing him.

I was so focused in my thoughts that I didn't notice it was snowing, maybe the first snow of the season. The wind blew fiercely so I looked around, there were no leaves or grass left, it was too cold for it to grow. I turned back to the grave and saw lavender, lilies and freesia little wild bushes moving with the wind, growing all around the grave. I felt the bolt of electricity again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, it was as if Edward was standing in front of me, it smelled like him. I could have stayed in there forever.

"There's no need to talk." I said out loud, "I know you know I'm here, and I will always be waiting for you. It doesn't matter if I have to wait for centuries, you waited for me too. I am not saying goodbye to you."

The old man was standing behind me, he coughed a couple of times to make me know he was waiting; there was no need for that, I had already smelled him.

"I am a widow too." He mourned. "I know what it is to live without the one you love the most, booze helps a little."

I let him guide me to the exit where a black car was waiting for me.

The car's door opened and I let myself in. I saw through the mirror that the old man was still looking at me, I guess he knew all the time he had been in danger with me by his side, alone. I wish I could've read his thoughts.

"I hope you had a nice talk with him." Emmett said. He stopped the car in the next corner and in an unexpected movement, he turned around and hugged me very tight. He was about to collapse.

"Oh Bella forgive me! You are my little sister and I'm supposed to take care of you, it's just I miss him so much." He shrieked. "I admire you, you are so strong, I don't know where you take your strength from, how do you manage to continue?" He continued with despair in his eyes.

"Emmett I need to tell you something, and I'm sure you'll think a fool of me but it doesn't matter" I shrieked back. "He's not gone, I know it, I feel it, he is somewhere waiting for us."

"It's a beautiful fantasy Bella, you're not a fool if it makes you happy to think that way."

I didn't reply back. Maybe it was like the fantasy of hearing his voice when I did stupid things back then in my human life, between the despair of being left alone. But this time I wasn't alone. Beyond my vampire senses, there was another sense of company, like when you're being watched; like when you are alone in a room but you know there's someone else in the next door. I couldn't ask Emmett to understand that, he would probably think I had lost my mind. Maybe I had.

We drove through the lightened city and then through the suburbs.


	5. Chicago

Chapter 5 –Chicago-

We all adapted to the city very well. Carlisle started working at the hospital, Emmett got into the Art Institute, Esme found a job redecorating old Victorian houses and Rosalie became Emmett's muse. And we all made car trips to Michigan forests whenever we needed to hunt.

But we weren't the same. We were like phantoms who barely spoke to each other. We all had a deep hole inside of us.

The old house where we lived in had an enormous library and I spent every night reading every book I found since the day we arrived. History, arts, music, love stories, I read the classics over and over. Each member of the family contributed with a different title, sometimes Rose, sometimes Esme, but they all handed me so many stories to lose myself in the pages. I guess they wanted to keep my mind busy, and it worked.

We visited the cemetery quite often, the grave was always full with flowers. The guard I met the first night had gotten used to our presence, he wasn't afraid of us anymore.

"You need to move on Mrs. Cullen." He once told me. "I am an old fool who doesn't have a life ahead, I can moan my loneliness everyday if I want to, but you... you deserve to have a good life, there must be someone else out there meant for you."

"Of course there's someone waiting for me out there, I'm sure of that, but thank you for worrying Mr. Cohen." I answered.

I learned Spanish from listening to our neighbors, the Lopez, a noisy family who had migrated from Mexico many years ago. I could hear them through the walls, they all shared supper after work. I knew their names and everything about their lives. And sometimes I wished I could be one of them; a regular person with a regular life, with family, friends, dreams and an ending life.

Emmett had a whole wing of the house for himself for painting. He spent hours with Rosalie making experiments with paint, light and darkness. Within the days we barely saw each other.

Esme was very busy redecorating a house that had been abandoned for a very long time. She said it had to be finished within a deadline so she needed to move fast. I noticed she was enjoying the job so much that I didn't dare to ask any question about it.

Carlisle stayed at the hospital extra hours.

I guess it was more painful than we all thought it would be, but no one dared to admit it wasn't working. Or at least that's what I thought.

I hadn't made up my mind about starting my research about Edward's life in Chicago. Maybe I was afraid of awakening the feelings and bring them back like burning flames. But as though I was all alone at the house anyway, I decided it was time.

Carlisleknew practically everything about Edward's life, he had been there too back in 1918; and was also the person who Edward trusted the most. I didn't want to bother him, I started looking for his past by myself and decided I would ask for help if my research didn't give any results.

It was January when I visited for the first time Chicago's newspaper library. It hadn't stopped snowing for days so I could go out early in the morning all dressed up, covered from head to toes hiding my sparkling skin from the sun. I was afraid, I knew I would love every detail of his past, another reason for thinking about him every single second.

I read all the news about the Spanish influenza. Most of its victims were healthy young adults. It lasted from March 1918 to June 1920 and killed from 50 to 100 million people world wide. In Chicago the pandemic took more lives than the great fire back in 1871. I saw a yellow old picture of a nurse who worked at Chicago's county hospital by the time who was taking care of a pale young male. "She might have known him." I said to my insides.

Then I typed the word "Masen". _An examination of early immigration records reveals that people bearing the name Masen arrived in North America very early; Anne Mason who arrived in Virginia in 1635; Charles Mason, who came to Virginia in 1637; Edward Mason, who came to in 1648; Henry Mason who arrived in1646. The name was originally derived from the Old English or Old French word masson_. "Edward Mason" I repeated out loud making two young students look my way. "Perhaps Edward has alive relatives." I wondered.

If I were a human I would've been sweating seas. I felt a bolt of electricity traveling through my body again. The computer's screen slowly showed a very old picture of Elizabeth and Edward Masen's engagement party. They belonged to a very wealthy family. She was absolutely beautiful; bronze long hair, bright green eyes, all dressed up in an elegant gown of that time. Edward's father was very tall and wide shouldered, with a gently face but serious looks; he had big green eyes under thick eyebrows, just like my Edward. I couldn't stop watching that image. My finger hesitated about clicking the _next_ button, I knew I would see a picture of him.

And there it was. The newspaper's date was June 20 1901; it announced the birth of the Masens' firstborn child -Edward Anthony Masen-. I froze. In front of my eyes was a battered picture of the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. And I felt it again. I decided it was enough for that day and I took that image with me forever.

I came back to the library some days later, pretty nervous I must admit. Time had frozen for me since I saw his picture, it confirmed to me he had really existed, he wasn't just a memory.

I didn't find many other news about the Masen family. I guess they decided to keep a low profile and stay apart from social life, devoting themselves to their son. The next story about them was around 1917. "_Edward Masen Jr refuses marriage to one of the most distinguished bachelorettes of the city and decides to enlist the army_". My eyes were wide opened. I saw him again, he was wearing a green soldier costume. Elizabeth Masen must have been very upset about this picture. He was as gorgeous as I remembered. Tall as his dad, bronze untidy hair, thick eyebrows, and... green olive eyes, the exact copy of Edward's mother's eyes. The image that lived in my head had topaz eyes, sometimes black or red eyes, but this was a completely new face. He was full of life, eager to eat the world in a bite. I felt very sad thinking how his fate had let him down, thinking about all the things he had missed.

I wandered through Chicago streets, through the parks and squares. I spent a whole night sitting by the river, trying to travel back in time. I imagined myself walking by his side among those streets. I would've given eternity for having my dream come true.

The next thing I learned about the Masens was their death. _"Spanish influenza pandemic kills one of the most wealthy families in the city. Mr. And Mrs. Edward Masen passed away last week"_. The next title was "_The Masens' heir, victim of the pandemic, his body has been stolen from Chicago's County, no suspects found."_ And the last one dated in 1920, _"The Masens' family fortune has been claimed by a mysterious relative."_

That last story kept me very thoughtful. Who could've claimed the Masens belongings if not the same Edward? Perhaps he sold the properties, he never told me about his old house in Chicago.

"Carlisle, I want to ask you something if you don't mind." I asked after waiting for hours for him to arrive from the hospital the next day. I couldn't read or pay attention to anything else, I was very excited.

"Of course Bella, I'm all ears." Carlisle replied.

"I've been doing some research, you know, about... Edward's human life" I hesitated. "And... I was wondering..."

"Of course you had dear, that's the reason you came here for. I was waiting for you to start questioning." He told me.

"Well, I read that someone claimed his family's belongings, do you have any idea who could've done it? Where can I find him?" I finally spat the question.

"Oh, I guess you found it out, well that person is standing right in front of you." Carlisle said staring at me. "I was just waiting until the autumn, but now you know there's no need to wait any longer. Esme could you please join the guys in the living room?" he shouted.

I was all mixed up, I didn't understand what was it all about. Esme, Emmett, Rosalie and Carlisle sat in front of me.

"It's about to be a year, you know sis." Emmett said. "And we all wanted to cheer you up a little."

I wasn't getting the point, a year of what? Rosalie read the doubts in my forehead, I definitely had no idea what they were talking about.

"Time has no meaning to us, but we want to commemorate the fact that you became one of us almost a year ago." Rosalie added.

But it also meant that we had lost Edward almost a year ago. They must have guessed my reaction, I was about to break down in front of them, how could they wanted to make that date special. Carlisle stepped forward next to me and handed me a heavy golden key.

"Edward's belongings are all yours, Mrs Cullen." He muttered. "This key opens the front door of the Masens old house. Esme has been redecorating it for you since we arrived to the city."

"I actually didn't redecorate it, I just made some cleaning, the house has been abandoned for so long. It keeps the same style it used to have when Edward lived in there." Esme said with a smile.

Next thing I knew, Emmett was driving us in his Jeep to the southeast part of Illinois, next to the state border with Michigan. The house was located in a zip code I didn't recognize. It was an old suburb, enormous old fashioned white houses at each side of the highway. Finally the jeep stopped in front of a black iron gate with the Masens' herald on top.

I couldn't believe what was going on, it was too much. Everything I was looking for was in front of me.

"Come on Bella, you don't want to miss a thing, Esme made miracles with this place!" Emmet said while sharing an accomplished looked to her.

I took the golden key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. The Cullens entered behind me. The front garden was amazing, roses, lavender, freesias and lilies. The facade was covered with a flowered ivy. I couldn't move, I lingered the sensation of the preamble.

"We have a present for you too, you will love it, Emmett has become a pretty good artist." Rosalie said.

We crossed the principal doorway and got immediately transported to another time. The inside of the house was even better. Emmett and Carlisle had repaired the original furniture. Two old fashioned rocking chairs were placed in the entrance of the hall. I pictured the Masens sitting there watching their son playing in the garden. The principal living room was amazing, the walls were covered with flowered tapestry and a stunning spider crystal candelabra hanged from the ceiling. Lots of landscape paintings hanged in every wall.

"Elizabeth Masen was an artist, just like me." Emmett jiggled. "Wait to see my contribution to the house."

The mahogany dining table was 3 ft long, it must have been the set of very fancy dinners with the most distinguished socialité of the time. A beautiful fireplace stood out in the living room, and on top, a painting with a golden frame of two young people. I came closer, it was a painting of our prom night. Edward was wearing a black suit and I recognized the blue dress Alice had lent me, we were smiling staring at each other and it had Emmett's signature on it. It was taken from a picture I hadn't seen in ages.

"Emmett I have no words, Esme, Rose, Carlisle, I am speechless; there is no way to thank you for all this. I really appreciate your effort, this is more than I ever expected." My voice started to break. "This is Edward's essence. He was actually here... I have no words." I said while touching the walls.

Just to continue with my shock, there was his piano too. I sat in front of it sliding my fingers over the keys. The notes that came from it chilled us all reaching our bones.

We climbed the stairs to the upper floor. Carlisle guided me to Edward's room. There was a single bed with a brass headboard; the bed table had lots of pictures on it, the ones I had seen in the newspaper library and new pictures of us, in Charlie's kitchen. I was so overwhelmed. His music collection and all the books he had read in ninety years were there, and belonged to me.


	6. The Diary

Chapter 6 – The diary-

My family was very pleased with my reaction, I had absolutely loved their presents. Of course it made easier not to think in the year that had almost passed. They decided to leave me alone at the house.

"You can stay the night if you want, this is your home." Esme told me before leaving.

When they closed the door behind them I couldn't stop smiling, I would've cried in happiness. I walked through every inch of the house, sniffed the curtains and opened every drawer. Esme had done a pretty good work at it; the carpets were clean, the table clothes were neatly folded and the glass were shiny.

I was keeping Edward's room for last. I got in slowly, inhaling all the air that could get into my lungs. I lit candles instead of lights, I wanted to recreate the time he had lived in. I lied on his bed, it was so soft and neat. I remembered his music collection, so I looked inside a box for a special CD, one I already had in mind. Debussy started playing at the back our favorite song. I continued snooping inside the closets, I found some really old clothes; it was like my personal museum, devoted entirely to him. I opened the drawer of the night table, to my surprise there was a little battered book inside; it was his diary. I hadn't figured out about reading it or not though I was totally excited, it was a very intimate thing that belonged only to him. All the thoughts about his human life were there, a part of Edward I would definitely never know; it was absolutely tempting so I decided to open it.

_Edward Anthony Masen _was written in the first page, the italic writing was elegant but forced and shaky, as if it belonged to a kid. The date on the next page confirmed that a young Edward around eight started the diary.

_June 20th, 1909. Today is my birthday, I received lots of presents from granny and the rest of the family. The one I liked the most is my piano, my mother gave it to me as she had promised. She also gave me this diary so I can write down my progress with music lessons._ _Father gave me a bicycle, I must be the only boy around who owns one; I must confess I am a little bit scared of riding it._

I couldn't help smiling, he must have been so tender at that age. As my reading went on I discovered that he was a very talented musician; his mother encouraged him to learn to play different instruments. Of course he always preferred the piano. He played the violin, the guitar and also learned to play bagpipes just to please his granny. She must have been very important to him.

He wasn't a daily writer, he wrote what was really important to him. I could see musical notes drawn at the margins. He composed a symphony with no title and wrote parts of it between the passages of his diary. I had to put the stave together so Carlisle could play for me later.

_February 9th 1912. The winter was too hard for granny, "pneumonia" the doctor said. I wish she were immortal and stay with us forever. I will miss her always._

I frowned about the irony.

_December 23th 1915. The recital is two days off, I need to be very focused. Chopin's Larghetto21 has always been very difficult for me to play, I do not know who says Chopin never received piano lessons. I need to impress mother and father so they take seriously my decision to become a pianist. I want to travel all around the world with my music. I know I disappoint father but I am not interested in family business, all I care about is music._

I was so shocked, it never occurred to me that he wanted to leave his wealthy and comfortable life for music. What an idealistic hard working young man; he must have been between the sword and the wall, for so to speak. He loved his father but he also loved his music. I felt sorry for him, he had always been tormented for who he really was, divided between wants and musts.

_April 21st 1917. It has been almost six months since Mrs Jackson does not teach me anymore, she had to sell her piano now her husband is away; she said he went to join The Allied in England. Father does not accept it but I know he is worried, the family business has not worked very well, these are hard times. I need to do something, I cannot just sit here and wait. I am a man now._

A man? He was only a fifteen year old boy who had to carry upon his shoulders all that pressure.

_June 14th1917. Last night I heard mother and father whispering, they want to arrange me in marriage with the Johnson's youngest daughter Esthella so I abandon the idea of enlisting the army. I have to confess I have always liked her, she is so pretty and kind and God knows I want to get married and have children one day. I am a total romantic idiot. But now... I have a duty beyond romanticism, I owe this to my country. Mother will be devastated but I need to leave; the sooner the better._

Edward never talked to me about this girl or any other. I realised I was jealous even though I didn't exist at that time. He had wished to marry and have a family of his own with someone else. It felt like a stab in my chest. He had missed everything he wanted.

_July 24th, 1918. I couldn't enlist the army. The city and the entire country are devastated by a terrible illness. Esthella is dead as many other young people from the conservatory. I am afraid. Father said it is a pandemic that started in Europe, Spain to be concrete. Mother secretly sold some of her jewelry to help father, we must be about to break. I will get rid off the piano to get money, this is no time for silly hobbies._

It all matched with what I've read at the newspaper library, the dates, the events, everything. I was thrilled to the bones. The next passage had been written within very few days since the last one, something really unusual in Edward's writing.

_August 1st, 1918. The great war is about to end father says. No way I am enlisting now, mother is sick; we had to admit her at Chicago's County Hospital because she could not breathe. My father has been weak these last few days, I fear for their fate. I will not allow them to suffer, they cannot die as Granny._

That was the last passage in Edward's diary, rest is history.


	7. Revelations

Chapter 7 –Revelations-

When winter was about to end Esme started redecorating a beautiful building which belonged to an old french couple, she spoke about them all the time. They were moving back to France and wanted to sell the property before leaving.

"Madame Cecille has a beautiful speech, she's got very good stories to tell, you should listen to her, and Jacques her husband is a very nice gentleman." Esme told me.

"I will go with you one of these days, I got to meet this couple you care that much." I said.

I tried to be a daughter to Esme, I wanted to be a company to her, we both needed each other so much. I decided to go with her one evening when the twilight had set. The building was really old but hadn't lost its greatness with time. Esme had redecorated the first floor already and was eager to start with the upper floor. I realised there was a big black piano in the living room beside the fireplace.

"What a gorgeous visitor you had brought with you Esme, who is this beautiful lady?" Cecille asked.

"She is Isabella, my youngest daughter." Esme answered.

"Good evening madame, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Esme speaks in a very good way of you and your husband." I dared to say, though I was as shy as I used to be when I was a human and I haven't spoken to any other human but Mr Cohen at the cemetery.

"Thank you my dear, I havevery good things to say about your mother as well, she's an artist. Come closer I want to take a good look of you." Cecille gently said with her french accent. "My God, you're absolutely beautiful, those topaz eyes, exactly as your mother's. How old are you dear Isabella?" She asked again. It seemed she was very curious about me.

"I'm 18 mam, but please call me Bella, everyone does."

"Uhmm" She muttered. "Your perfect skin tells me so, but your sad eyes seem to haveseen for centuries, but don't listen to me, I'm just an old woman who says what she thinks." The old lady added with an innocent smile.

I was about to answer to distract that thought from her mind, when suddenly I heard someone playing "Claire de lune". I must have trembled and I would surely have burst in tears if only I could. The notes hit my brains as thunder. Someone was playing _our_favoritesong in the piano in the next room so perfectly, with such feeling. Cecille noted my shock. Esme was paralyzed as well.

"I see you are very sensitive of music Bella." She said. "It's Jake my husband playing the piano; I'm as surprised as you, he hadn't touched that piano for so long. I guess he's trying to impress you both." She jiggled.

To make things worst her husband's name was Jacques and she fondly called him Jake, as I used to call my dear old friend.

The music stopped, and I still couldn't move. "Please ask him to continue, that song brings me such good memories." I begged.

"Jacques je veux de te présenter Isabella, elle est la fille d'Esme." Cecille told her husband while she guided us to the living room. "Bella désires que tu continue." I didn't understand french but she must haveasked him to continue playing because the music started over again. I sat down near the piano and closed my eyes. I let the music transport me to a time and place I missed so much.

When Jacques Sevignyfinished playing he stood up and turned toward us. He was very tall, he had gray untidy hair and green smart eyes. He must have been really handsome in his youth. His face revealed to me the peace I was looking for.

"Good evening Bella, that name fits you perfectly, it means _beautiful_in Italian." He took my hand and greeted "Enchantée mademoiselle."

"Good evening sir, thank you for playing that song, you've made my day." I stuttered.

"I can play the piano for you every time you want dear, but please call me Jake." He asked.

Since that evening I visited that house with Esme almost everyday; I missed the appointment every now and then when I needed to feed myself in the woods. While Cecilleand Esme madeplans about the upper floor decoration, I held heated conversations with Monsieur Jacques. We spoke about books, music, life, about everything basically. He told me they had arrived from France eighteen years ago when their daughter died of a disease at the age of seventeen, he said I resembled to her. He reminded me of so many people as well, Charlie, Jacob and Edward in the same person. He played for me whenever I asked him to. He actually tried to teach me how to play the piano but I refused immediately. If I've had a grandfather I wished it had been like him.

The Sevigny couple became good friends of us. We invited them for dinner at Edward's old house. Madame Cecille never stopped talking and was charmed by Rose's beauty, Emmett's paintings and Carlisle's conversation. Jacques kept staring at Carlisle since they arrived. They both found so weird that such a young couple as the Cullens already had teenage boys. My foster parents didn't give them much information about that special point.

"Oh I am very sorry Dr. Cullen, but I could swear we know each other, your face is so familiar to me." Jacques told Carlisle.

"Don't apologize Mr. Sevigny, it's a very common sensation you know, perhaps a déja vous." Carlisle answered.

Madame Cecille was fascinated with the house, and of course noticed the painting hanging on the fireplace.

"Who is this handsome gentleman Bella?" She politely asked. We all looked puzzled.

"He is Ed..., was Edward, our son." Carlisle rushed to reply. "We lost him a year ago in a car accident, the guys were engaged."

"Oh I'm very sorry for asking, I had no idea, but..." Cecilleapologized. "I thought Bella was Esme's daughter, sorry again, you don't need to explain anything."

"The thing is that the Cullens adopted me after... after the accident." I explained. "My parents died a long time ago, so I didn't haveanyone else after Edward's death." I bit my tongue, I had lied. "Esme is my mother now and Carlisle my father, Rose and Emmett are my brothers, and I thank them very much for having me in their family."

"Poor little thing, now I understand the sadness in your eyes, you've been through a lot and you're so young." Cecille pitied.

Monsieur Jacques was all quiet, he hadn't talked as he used to. He kept watching the Cullen sover and over; he obviously noticed at dinner that we had left our plates almost full. I could even tell that Carlisle felt a little uncomfortable; we all felt observed.

"I wonder if Mr. Sevigny suspects something, he always had a very suspicious look." Carlisletold us when the Sevignys abandoned the house.

"They're such good persons dear, Monsieur Jacques must have been calculating our ages, he was a little perplexed by our young looks as he said. But actually I guess it isn't a very good idea to be that close from humans." Esme answered.

Esme and I kept visiting the french old couple. They were even kinder to me after knowing I had lost my fiancé.

"We've also lost our reason for living, you know Isabella. Her name was Heidi, she was a dancer and I used to play the piano for her." Jacques told me very seriously. "She died of an incurable illness when she was about your age. We did everything we could to save her, but it was impossible."

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to Jake." I said.

"The fact is that I need to talk about her Bella, specially with you; you will obviously understand. What would'veyou done to change Edward's fate, what if there was a chance to keep him alive?" He asked me almost whispering. I guess he didn't want Cecilleto listen.

"I would've done everything, I would've given my own life instead of his." I replied. "I still blame myself for being alive..." My voice broke. "But what is it you've done you need to whisper?"

"First we tried with every doctor available, we travelled to La Sorbonein Paris, then Houston, Moscow, etcetera, etcetera. And we always got the same answer, there were no chances, she was dying." He explained. "I looked for alternative medicine, we tried Chinese methods, acupuncture, hot stones, magical remedies; we even tried witch craft we have read about. But nothing worked."

"You had to try everything, there's no reason to be ashamed of that Jake. I..." I started saying when Jake interrupted.

"Listen to me Isabella, I hadn't told you the whole story. I met many weird people in the underworld of witchcraft and paganism, and heard so many crazy stories."

My mind gave a twist when I realised the direction his confession was taking. Could he possibly know?

"A Haitian folk healer told me a story about these creatures that were supposedly immortal, and had the power of turning the others immortal as well, they're called the _cold ones._" He whispered without looking at me.

"Nonsense Jake, those creatures don't exist, they're just folk fairy tales kept in the collective subconscious. And what were they supposed to be? Angels?" I asked with irony, meanwhile my legs urged me to get out of there immediately.

"Nothing more opposite to angels. But I guess it's getting late and you need to go home now Bella, we'll continue our chat later." He said while walking me to the door.

I was confused and afraid, could he know about us? That wasn't the correct question, what exactly did he know? I decided not to tell Carlisle, there was no need to worry him; the Sevignyswere about to leaveback to France within a few days and we would never see them again.

The next couple of times I visited the Sevignys with Esme, Mr. Jacques didn't receive me. Madame Cecille said he had a terrible headache, and that he felt miserable for not greeting us. He only made more evident that he knew everything about me and my family.

One evening Esme asked me to help her with some stuff in the Sevignys' upper floor, their departure was planned two days ahead. I had to keep all the paintings that were hanging on one room's walls inside huge boxes. It seemed as if that room hadn't been opened for a very long time, it was all covered with dust. I was alone, so I could stop acting human and kept almost twenty heavy paintings with their golden frames within a second. Suddenly one painting caught my sight. I had seen that image somewhere else but I couldn't remember clearly.

"Esme could you please come? I need to show you something." I asked her. She entered the room faster than a beam of light.

"Do you recognize this painting? I guess I saw it in some of Emmett's art books but I can't remember."

But she didn't answer. She was in shock and took her some time but finally hesitated "Of course you've seen this painting before, there used to be an exact copy of it in Carlisle's studio back in Forks."

"The Volturi!" we both said at the same time. And we left the house immediately.


	8. Doubts

Chapter 8 –Doubts-

"We need to talk about this to Carlisle and the others." Esme hurried. "The Sevignys are in danger."

"How come Esme? Are you guessing the Volturi are after them? Do you think Monsier Jacques stole the painting?" I urged to ask. "Perhaps they just bought the painting to someone back in Europe, you know Cecille loves collecting old stuff."

But I knew there was something wrong, it couldn't be just coincidence. Jake actually knew about the cold ones, but could he possibly know about the Volturi?

"In fact Esme there's something I've wanted to tell you, I shut up because I didn't want to worry you." I hesitated.

"Bella you must tell us, you know we need to protect the Sevignys. If the Volturis know that these two have found out about us they will hunt them. That who knows about our kind must disappear, it's been law for centuries."

"But they won't tell anything, they're friends. Besides Madame Cecille doesn't know."

"So you're positive that he knows." Esme stated.

"Well..., Jake was telling me about their daughter the other day, he said that they tried every way to keep her alive. He told me this tale about the cold ones, but he didn't complete the story; and you know he hasn't received us recently."

"He wanted you to know..." Esme said in such a low tone that any human could've heard.

Esme received a phone call a day later, it was Cecille.

"My dear you know we're leaving tomorrow so we want to say goodbye to our friends, we are having a dinner tonight and of course the Cullens can't miss it."

"Actually Cecille we need to talk to you." Esme answered. I could see her worried look.

"Is there something wrong sweetheart? The house is already sold, you did a marvelous job!" Cecille said.

"Mmm of course there's nothing wrong." Esme hesitated "We'll meet you there, of course we will say goodbye to you, we'll miss you very much." She finally agreed.

That evening the Cullens and I had a meeting. Esme and I told them about the painting. They were very confused.

"I know Aro very well, he wouldn't allow any human who knew about us to continue existing; he created the rule." Carlisle said while he continued solving the puzzle in his mind. "The Volturi wouldn't let any clue of ourselves to get out from their fortress, and that painting is an unmistakable hint."

"So how can they possibly have that painting?" Rose asked with a bewildered expression.

"There've always been rumors and stories about the cold ones, you can even google the term in the Internet; it doesn't mean Mr Jacques knows." Emmett said trying to calm us down.

"You're forgetting one thing Emmett, do you recognize that I appear in that painting? I am standing right next to Aro, Caius and Marcus. I never imagined there was a copy of that painting." Carlisle said.

"So that's why Jake had the feeling of having met you before!" I pointed.

"Perhaps he hasn't made the connection." Rose said.

But Carlisle didn't seem to listen. He was lost in his thoughts. We all looked at each other while Carlisle walked from one place to another, though he moved so fast it didn't seem he had moved at all. Finally after some minutes he spoke.

"We definitely can't ask the Sevignys directly if they know something, we would break the rules ourselves; that would be the confirmation of Jacques' guessing if he actually has any."

We all looked at him without saying a word, our eyes and ears wide open.

"A painting is not a photograph, though the similarity is outstanding no one could swear it's me. Let's suppose he heard these tales about the cold ones while desperately looking for a heal to his daughter, that doesn't mean he had the rumors confirmed; there are very few chances that he had found one of our kind. Her daughter is dead, isn't she?" Carlisle doubted. "There's even more, imagine for just one second the possibility that Jacques found the Volturi, how on earth did he manage to get from out there alive? He couldn't have anything that the Volturi would've taken from worthy enough to allow him living."

"Ok, you are definetly right about that, but there's still the painting thing. How did he get it?" Emmett inquired.

"We will never be certain about it, I suppose he got it in the underworld of Europe's capital cities while he did his research about the immortal makers." Carlisle suggested. "The painting could've passed from hand to hand throughout the centuries."

Carlisle's words made sense to all of us, basically because they were comforting. None of us was ready to admit that a human knew about us. Of course we were making too much ado about nothing, all these nonsense were just suppositions of an old superstitious man, my mind tried to convince me.

The Sevignys' house was finished, beautifully decorated by Esme. We arrived the place around twilight. It was full with humans, delicious scented humans. They all looked at us with an astonished look, they weren't used to see so perfect creatures so close to them.

Madame Cecille introduced us to the crowd "My friends these are the Cullens, and this is the artist who turned our old place into a palace." pointing at Esme. They all greeted at us.

Jake was standing there as well, he received us as if he hadn't any supposition about us. Specially, he received me in a very confident way, he hugged me. "You're so cold dear, it must be freezing out there." He told me while tightly holding my hand. It was the first and last time our skins touched.

The dinner went by without any incident. All those humans chatted and congratulated Esme for her work, meanwhile we were just observants. One by one, the friends of the couple started leaving the house and it was our time to say goodbye.

"Cecille, Jacques, we all want to wish you a very joyful life, we are so grateful of getting to know you; you've been like a family to us since we arrived to the city." Esme told them.

"Esme, darling, we aren't saying goodbye forever, you're talking as if we'd never see each other again. In fact we want to tell you that you have a home in Rennes if you ever decide to go." Cecille answered.

"Thankyou so much, perhaps one day we'll take your word." Carlisle replied.

When we were about to leave and without anyone watching, Monsieur Jacques gave me a tiny box. "It belonged to Heidi, Bella, and I want you to have it always with you; perhaps some day it could take you out of trouble." He must have noticed my perplexed look, so he added "In case you need money of course dear, it's a tiny but expensive thing. I used to have an exact copy of it, but unfortunately I lost it."

"I can't accept it Jake, it's so precious to you." I whispered.

"That's exactly why I want you to keep it, please, make me happy. And... do me a favor, never forget that impossible things are always possible. Keep the faith."

I accepted the present. After leaving the house I opened the tiny box, it contained a silver necklace with a teardrop shaped diamond.


	9. Welcoming

Chapter 9 –The welcoming-

A week after the Sevignys left, Carlisle announced that he needed to travel to Forks. The County wanted to buy the lot where their house was built, and since it was abandoned and we had no plans of coming back, he decided to sell. Carlisle promised he would visit Charlie and Jacob.

Three days later he was back. The house had been sold, another memory that was about to be demolished. Carlisle said Charlie and Jacob were doing fine. That was all I needed to know.

All the Sevigny stuff kept me thinking about possibilities. Jacques had told me to be faithful, could I ever hope for...?

"Carlisle I need to ask you something."

"In fact Bella there's something very important I need to tell you too. While I was in Forks I ran into Mr. Stanley, perhaps you don't remember but he owns the town's jewelry."

I was listening but I didn't see where he wanted to get.

"Edward once asked me if..." He hesitated. "If I would agree if he proposed to you." I was absolutely shocked. Edward had proposed as a condition for my transformation, but he never said it seriously, or did he?

"I was very happy for him, you gave a meaning to his existence, and of course I did agree." Carlisle told me while he took a little black box from his breast pocket. "It belonged to his mother and he wanted you to have it; it was one of the few jewels she kept after the Great war. I am so very sorry for being the one who gives this jewel to you. Edward left it with the Stanleys to clean it and fix it to fit you; he just never got the chance to pick it and give it to you."

I opened the little black velvet box, a white golden ring with purple gems shone. Carlisle placed it in my finger and it fitted perfectly. I hugged him very tight. How I wished Edward had given it to me. How fool I had been when teasing Edward about how hateful it would be to get married so young.

"Carlisle thank you very much. I wish I could cry."

"Don't thank me, this rings belongs to you since a very long time ago. So what is it you want to ask me?"

"Well I know it will sound absolutely crazy, and you know by now that everything that comes from me is related to Edward..." I stammered. "I've always felt since the first day that he is still here, not physically I mean, and that feeling gets stronger everyday. I can't be just crazy or obsessed. Please tell me if I should keep my hope, is there a way or have you heard of someone that comes back... from death?"

Carlisle meditated his answer a long while. He didn't want to hurt me.

"Bella first of all you are not crazy, he was the love of you life, your meaning; it's logical you feel this way. But I know what you're talking about, I feel it too."

A glimpse of hope shone in my eyes.

"The thing is that I don't know if there is life after the non-life, and if there is, are we invited to it? We are damned creatures Bella."

"Not Edward, he was the most beautiful being I ever met! He deserves it!"

"I am sorry dear, I know he does. In all my years I haven't met neither heard of someone who does come back, but that doesn't mean it is impossible. When you were a human there were some things that became part of the impossible world, but they were there; we were there. Now as vampires, there must be other things that even to us seem impossible but aren't. Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I see your point. Carlisle, if there is any chance to keep hoping I need to find out, otherwise I don't want to continue. I longed eternity just to be near him, if he's not around me I don't want it!"

"I understand Bella, you need to go out there and find your answers; you will always belong to this family and you will always be welcomed back."

I decided to leave behind Edward's city and belongings in the past to step into an unknown future. I would go to Volterra, I already knew how to find them, Alice had taught me the way. The Cullens were pretty worried about my decision. I convinced them it was time for them to meet the new Isabella, though as much as I knew I hadn't been blessed with any special gift as mind reading or future telling. And... if there was someone who could give me an answer it would be them.

Esme was a little hesitant about me leaving, she was hoping Alice would come back someday. Two years have passed and we still had no information about her and Jasper, though we were sure she knew every single step we were taking just of thinking of us. Alice could definitely find us if she decided so.

We said goodbye to each other and promised to keep in touch. I was supposed to tell them about the Volturi's welcoming immediately since my arrival to Volterra.

I visited Edward's home for the last time in many years. I inhaled deeply the last scent that house kept, even the smallest particle of Edward's presence went with me. I walked through every room and looked through every window, and I gave a last glance to our painting hanging on the fireplace. "Farewell my love, you're always in my mind." I said out loud while giving a look to my ring. So I shut the doors and kept the golden key in my pocket.

Before heading to the airport, I drove myself to Oakswood cemetery again and went directly towards Mr Cohen, the guard.

"Hello Mrs Cullen, it's been a long time." He said while approaching to me.

"Indeed Mr. Cohen, I came to say goodbye, I'm moving on as you once suggested." I replied.

"I'm glad for you miss." He gently told me with a smile.

"I just wanted to ask you for something, actually two things."

"Anything you wish Mrs Cullen."

"Well, first of all I'd like you to take care of the grave, it would be lovely to come back and find lots of flowers around it. And the other thing is, could you please let me know if someone ever comes to visit the grave?". He looked confused. "The thing is that I never got the chance to meet his family so perhaps they could show up one of these days and if you let me know I could catch them up and meet them." He nodded as if he couldn't refuse to anything I requested, and obviously he couldn't. I gave him an envelope full with money with an address written on it. I didn't visit the grave that day, I had decided Edward wasn't in there, he was with me.

I drove to the forest where we used to hunt. Though I've never tasted human blood in my life, the smell was very tempting, so probably it would be hard to be in an airplane full with people.

I took a direct flight to Italy. The passengers must have thought I was a movie star or something like that because they kept looking at me over and over. But I didn't pay any attention. I kept thinking about the time I flew with Alice to save Edward from the ones I was looking for. It seemed a century ago. Life could've been so different. I closed my eyes fantasizing about Edward and I, as a vampire. I would probably be his wife and we would've.... I didn't allow myself to imagine that, it was too painful. The tense _would've _shouldn't exist. But, if only I could close my eyes and dream... Suddenly I felt invaded by a strange feeling, I was worried. What if the Volturi were already waiting for me, what if they weren't very happy about my visit? I had no means to protect myself from their supernatural powers.

I arrived to Rome at night, so it was easy to rent a car and drive through Italy's highways. I was eager to arrive, I needed to gain their trust so they could give me a hint about life after life. The question was how exactly would I be trustful for them?

I had made up my mind. If they didn't know or it was impossible to have my Edward back, I would ask them myself to end up with my existence; just as Edward once thought of.

I hadn't realised it was the exact time of the year when Alice and I visited the city years ago. The sun was about to rise when I arrived and there were dozens of red flags all over the place. Since the moment I got out of the car I knew they were waiting for me, or at least that's what I thought.

A young pale man dressing with a red gown which covered his entire body slowly approached to me, but actually it didn't seem he was looking for someone in special. He was walking by and smelled my scent, he immediately knew I was a vampire. An unknown vampire.

"Do I know you?" The vampire asked.

"Not yet, but I guess you're about to. My name is Isabella Cullen." I stated firmly though I could feel some sort of adrenaline rush. The vampire's eyes were wide opened, he wasn't waiting for that answer, he surely knew the name.

"I guess you are not here by coincidence, you didn't come to see the festival, did you?" He inquired in a defying way. "We need to cover your skin, we don't want anyone to see you." He said while stealing a gown that a woman was carrying in her hands, so fast she didn't have time to notice. He never took his eyes off of me, I could tell he was unsuccessfully trying to read me.

The young vampire I was following was a beautiful creature, he must have been around his twenties when he was transformed. He had black hair and deep crimson eyes, so deep I thought he could see through people's minds and bodies.

"I am sorry, but you haven't introduced yourself. How do you know I need to be guided, I know exactly where I'm heading." I said in a very low tone of voice, speaking so fast he was the only one who could listen.

"I don't mean to be rude Isabella, but I guess my masters are eager to see you, let's just say they had been expecting for you. And by the way my name is Dimitri." He replied in a severe tone.

Could he be the Dimitri I once met? He didn't seem that big and powerful as I remembered. But he cleared my doubts, the Volturi knew about Edward and my transformation, but how? Perhaps they had a meeting with Alice and Jasper, perhaps they had joined the Volturi. I let him guide me through a dark alley, the shadow of an enormous building covered us from sunlight. Finally we approached to a tiny door, it seemed like some old bar back door. Dimitri knocked three times and the door opened, he invited me inside. The place was dark and wet, but this time I could see perfectly through darkness. I walked through the corridors hoping to have Edward by my side to protect me as the first time I visited that place. A poisonous thought invaded my head while we approached to the principal camera, what if the Volturi decided to end up with me? It didn't matter, I couldn't care less for my life; maybe it was the way to get to Edward, he had promised me we would see each other again, and that was my chance.

Finally we got to a big room with gray stone walls and a really tall ceiling. I could smell old blood.

"Wait in here, Jane will get you in a minute." Dimitri ordered without looking at me.

Suddenly I felt from behind someone staring at me, so I turned around. This little young blond vampire with fierce eyes continued staring, her face was absolutely angelical. Jane didn't need any introduction. She wasn't moving an inch, neither was speaking. She was waiting for something to happen but it never did. I saw a wrinkle in her pale forehead, it hadn't worked as she expected.

"So you finally did it, didn't you? You didn't care it cost his life, you needed to become one of us." She loathed.

"I am not here to see you, whoever you are, I came to see your masters." I calmly replied. I had found out her powers didn't work with me, and indeed I knew who she was.

She showed me a sardonic smile and was about to start speaking when a man's laughing interrupted. It was Aro who was standing in the shadows and had heard our small conversation.

"My eyes can't believe what they see, you are absolutely stunning, this Victoria made an excellent job." He said sarcastically. "And as far as I can see, you kept the ability to be immune to our powers, what a special creature you are Isabella Swan, or should I say Cullen?"

I didn't answer, the memory of Victoria distracted me from the conversation.

"Don't listen to our precious Jane, she is a little bit jealous and she's just trying to piss you off." The old vampire mocked. "I was wondering if we could shake hands as the old friends we are, Isabella."

Of course I knew that Aro didn't want to shake hands, he needed to know if he could read my thoughts through my skin. I approached him, immediately within a tenth of a second Jane was standing by his side to protect him.

"It's been a very long time Aro, Carlisle and the others send you their greetings." I said.

I felt his fingertips over my bare skin, he seemed to be focused in something; but then again, he frowned. He couldn't reach my memories, so he let my hand loose. I could see he was very upset.

"Poor Carlisle, losing a son must be the most difficult experience, send him my deepest condolence." He never lost the ironic smile. "But what about you my dear?, we heard it was the bloodiest battle ever, I wonder what might have distracted Edward that much, he was one of the fastest vampires my eyes have seen. I could have never imagined that Edward Cullen would succumb to a novice and a vengeful resented vampire." He wanted to hurt me, he knew that talking like that about Edward was the only way to make me feel pain. "As you can see Isabella anything is written, we learn everyday about our own limitations and weaknesses, and of course you were his." He finally added.

"I guess it was meant to be, Aro." I lied. My face didn't reveal any mournful gesture, I was a cold statue.

"I guess it was meant to be too. Despite you took his name I see you've moved forward Mrs Cullen. Perhaps our Jane is right and you only used him to become an immortal. I guess we will never know, but I must admit I owe you a little respect for that, neither I would have betrayed like that the love of my life. Poor Edward, his death was worthy anyway, you are a perfect creature."

I could see Jane grinning out of the corner of my eye, Aro was smiling as well. They were both enjoying the torture.

"So, you were waiting for me, you knew I'd come." I afirmed, trying to change the subject. Their comments were starting to piss me off and it was getting harder to make out I wasn't being bothered about them.

"Of course we knew Isabella, we were sure you'd turn into an incredible creature, and we were positive that Carlisle wouldn't fulfill your expectations about this existence. He doesn't have all the answers you are looking for, does he?" Aro asked. Jane was snorting from behind, she wasn't enjoying all the flattery.

For the first time since I entered the fortress I felt my knees weak, what kind of answers did Aro suppose I was looking for? He was right in one thing, Carlisle didn't have a clue if there was a slim possibility of having Edward back.

"It was a matter of time Isabella, and we have plenty of it." He finally added. "But now you are here, we shall not make my brothers wait any longer, follow us." He said while guiding me to another chamber.


	10. Unexpected

Chapter 10 –The unexpected-

We approached to a tall wooden door that was watched over at each side by two vampires that hid their faces within gray hoods. Aro raised his hand and without touching it the door opened. We got in.

One by one, very different vampire figures placed themselves in front of us. Some of them were very young, others looked older, each one absolutely beautiful but at the same time with bored and sickened faces. They were waiting for something fresh to renew their tired endless lives. They all gave me skeptical thorough looks. I was not afraid.

"Move aside you demons!" A voice from the back ordered. It was an old tired voice, I remembered it. The vampires made room so we could see the one who was talking, it was Marcus. By his side a young and slim blond vampire. "Alec" I thought, he was identical to Jane, with a skin so white and cold as snow.

"Very well, at last." Another voice from one dark corner shrieked. The missing brother, Caius.

"I am so glad to please you brothers, I've brought you Isabella Cullen." Aro said. "And you'll be so delighted when you discover her special ability." He continued.

Was Aro suggesting that all those vampires would test their powers with me to find out if I was immune to them? Indeed... Suddenly Jane and Alec were standing side by side, just in front of me; they both stared and did their best effort to cause me the worst pain. Nothing... From the back I could hear in advance the breeze that Felix, a big tall vampire, produced when he rushed towards me. He was about to bump his enormous body against mine and without any advice he was rejected back with the same force he had used to knock me down as if he had crushed against an iron wall.

"Let me try." A black haired vampire suggested. He was Dimitri, the same vampire who found me at the square. He touched my shoulder gently with his right hand, I could feel the cold marble of his skin, but nothing more.

I hadn't done anything, at least consciously.

"Amazing!" Marcus amused himself while his brothers clapped.

"Come closer!" Caius ordered. The three brothers were now sitting in three old fashioned chairs enjoying the show. I did what I was told too. My mind was in blank, I couldn't believe neither understand what was going on. They all stood up and surounded me with their bodies. My body disappeared beneath their hoods. I could only hear whispers, neither my vampire senses could decipher their words. For the first time since I became a vampire I felt very tired; almost colapsing. But that was it. Whatever the Volturi had tried to do with me it didn't work. I always kept my memories safe, deep in a corner of my mind. There was no way I would allow them to reach Edward.

When they released me I turned around without knowing what had happened, to my surprise they were all astonished, their eyes couldn't believe what they had seen. No creature, human or vampire, had ever resisted the Volturis' powers and I wasn't aware of being the first one.

"How... how could you...?" Aro hesitated. "You are indestructible..." He staggered.

"Answer Isabella! Were you aware of that capability of yours?" Marcus inquired.

"I always thought I didn't have any special power, I swear I had no idea." I answered nervously.

"Lier!" Marcus furiously shouted. "You came here to defy us!"

"Perhaps she is telling the truth dear brother, she had never been attacked before so I guess that she never got the chance to protect herself." Caius said really delighted.

"I am not here to defy anyone, I just ..." I stuttered. I didn't dare to admit that I was there to join them. My mind started working very fast, I could actually be helpful to them, they could need me somehow; and I could get my answers. –"I came up to here to ask you if... if I can join you. My existence has no meaning since Edward left, I got nowhere to go and I can't go back to my human life." I finally dared to say.

I realised that Marcus and Aro were nervous, it was the first time their powers hadn't worked. They used fear to control everyone around them, how could they control me if I had no reason to be afraid of? They could not hurt me.

"Don't be so distrustful brothers, she must have a weakness and we will find it out; perhaps she still cares about mom and dad." Caius said while turning to face me. "Don't worry dear, we won't hurt Rennee and Charlie, unless... you are disloyal to us."

I tried very hard not to show any worries, if they knew I still cared about my human parents they would use them to blackmail me.

"I have no interest in being disloyal Caius, you are my only family now." I lied.

"We have eternity to find out don't you think brothers?" Caius told them.

"We need to discuss it, the three of us, in private." Marcus said.

"Isabella your future is about to be written." Aro told me. "Take her!" He ordered.

I was so focused in the dialogue the Volturi were holding that I hadn't noticed that there was a vampire who had paid special attention to me. She kept staring over and over and finally said "I'll do it master, I will take care of her."

"We will summon you when we have decided, now, leave." Marcus said.

Next second, a brunnet vampire with red eyes was driving me to another chamber. She had a beautiful figure, the body of a ballerina; she reminded me of someone, her face was so familiar to me. We walked through several corridors without sharing any comment. She was a tumb, just as the place we were in. She moved so gracefully, almost touching the ground. We arrived to a small cold room, and as soon as the door shut behind us she surprisingly cornered me against the wall. She was tremendously strong but I didn't try to release myself.

"What did you do to them?!" She inquired, with fury in her red eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Where did you take this from?" She asked again tearing off the diamond that was hanging from my neck.

All of a sudden it all made sense to me, her familiar face, her ballerina figure.

"Heidi Sevigny..." I muttered.

When she heard the name she slowly released my clothes, and my body. She would've broken my ribs if I weren't a vampire. Her agony expression changed to anguish, maybe curiousity. And her eyes changed color, they had the color of the sky in sunset. She pulled a long silver chain from her neck, a tear drop shaped diamond was hidden beneath her clothes.

"I don't understand, this diamond belonged to Jacques' daughter and she's... she is dead." I spoke out loud.

"Indeed, Heidi Sevigny is dead, I am her remains. Now you will tell me how you got the diamond!" She demanded.

I couldn't believe what was happening. Without asking and in the very first day of my visit I had found out the reason why Jacques Sevigny knew about the cold ones, his own daughter was one of them.

"I can't believe this." I stattered. "Don't think wrong of me, I've never tasted human blood in my life. I knew your parents in America, they lived in Chicago and were very good friends of us. Jacques was like a father to me, he gave me the diamond before they left to France."

Heidi was about to break down, her voice started to tremble. "Really, did you see them? How are they? Please, I'm begging you, tell me everything you know about them."

I told her everything I knew about the years they lived in America; about Cecille's obsession for antiques, about Jake playing piano for me, and how they both missed her so much. Her mind was so far away while she listened, she was abstracted in memories.

"It isn't true that you forget about your human life." She told me. "I wish I could not think about them anymore."

"I know, there are some memories that fade away, but what really is important stays with you forever." I answered. "But now there are some answers you need to give me, my family and I are worried about your parents, we fear the Volturi are after them."

She turned around with a very serious look on her face. "Ho... why?"

"Jacques knows everything about the cold ones, he has a very old painting that he shouldn't have. Caius, Aro, Marcus and Carlisle my father are pictured on it. Honestly I don't understand a thing. You know the law, no human must stay alive after knowing the truth about us."

Heidi started to understand the mess in my mind, she figured it out instantly. "You are very kind of worrying about my fath... about Jacques, but you shouldn't actually. He was absolved by Aro, he allowed him to live as long as he never revealed what he knew."

"But how...? How did Jacques find the Volturi? You were dying and..."

"He tried every resource to keep me alive but nothing worked. He learned these rumors about mythical creatures that lived forever, even if it was a legend he researched everywhere until he found them. And that's our secret, Aro's and mine I mean, his brothers don't know about my past." And this time her eyes were begging me.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me, I wouldn't do anything that could hazard Jacques or Cecille. Still, there's something that doesn't fit, I thought Aro couldn't keep any secret from his brothers."

"He allowed them to know a part of the story. The truth is that my father came to Volterra pretending to be a tourist, he entered the fortress and met Dimitri. By that time Dimitri was the one in charged of bringing people to feed the Volturi and all their court. Jacques knew it, and he begged Dimitri to hear his story, he said they could have his life in return if they accepted to transform me and save me from death."

I was astonished, Jacques himself had surrendered his own daughter to this existance. How could he ever preferred to give his only daughter the sorrow of immortality knowing that he wouldn't see her again. Heidi guessed my thoughts.

"Don't misjudge him, he loved me very much and he didn't know what kind of existance he was asking for me. He never imagined this life as a punishment, on the contrary, he thought that eternity was the best of the gifts. Jacques didn't hear the complete legend about the cold ones, he didn't know about the killings."

"I still don't understand how did he manage to leave Volterra alive."

"Dimitri felt the bloodlust immediately so he accepted to introduce Jacques with his masters, thinking he would get my father's blood in return. Caius and Marcus weren't at the fortress, it was Aro who received us. I was very weak by then, my body was losing the battle so my father carried me all the way to Aro's chamber. He was prepared to die for me."

"But how..? I still didn't make the connection.

"Aro was skeptical about my father, how could a simple human know about them and their location. Jacques didn't have any chance but somehow Aro decided to let him live, I guess he found me attractive enough to become one of them. In return he asked my father to watch the transformation." Heidi said closing her eyes, the memory must had hurt deeply. –"And you know how it is, it must have been torturing and absolutely painful for him, watching her daughter burst in pain. I will always be resentful with Aro for that."

"But I guess it was better for him than watch you die." I said to comfort her.

"When my heart was about to stop, two teardrops rolled over my face and they became diamonds in my father's hands. He kept one in his pocket and put the other diamond inside my fist, that's why I recognized your necklace immediately." Heidi seemed so fragile in that moment, remembering her first days as a vampire turned her so vulnerable. "Aro told me months later after my thirst had quenched, that he gave my father a gift, just to remind him that they were watching; they would come back to take his life if he dared to say anything about what he'd seen. But I guess he threatened him in another way, perhaps Aro told him he would distroy me; he knew I meant everything to Jacques. We are not allowed to see or hear from each other again." She finally stated.

"So that's why Jacques recognized us, he knew since the very first day..."

Heidi opened her hand and returned me the diamond. "This makes us sisters, you can trust me from now on."


	11. Veredict

Chapter 11 –Verdict-

Heidi walked me to my chamber, it was dark and cold with no windows, almost like a dungeon.

"Bella we must keep up appearances, no one should ever know about us being friends. You'll find out soon that this is no place for friendship, you cannot trust anyone. Alliances are made and broken in the same day, everyone looks after gaining the masters' approval and no one will think twice in stepping over you. Be very careful when you meet them, the whole court is waiting for you to make a mistake, specially Jane."

"I don't know why they're making so much fuss, why is it they have been waiting for me with such expectancy?"

"Don't you see it Bella? You don't know how far your powers can go, in fact, you didn't even know you had any and with just one bite of your gift you scared them. I bet they won't leave you alone until they have found out everything about you. Aro wants to make you the next Jane."

"I am not here to become anyone's pet. I decided to join the clan because I am looking for some answers."

"They will give them to you, anything you ask for if you promise to make their will."

"Like slavery?" I asked.

"Sort of. But tell me, what is it you want to know?"

I opened my dead heart to Heidi. I told her about Edward and the promise he made to me. She didn't seem to understand that I would risk my life for having him back; she had never felt that kind of bond.

"Someone is coming." Heidi whispered.

After some seconds we heard someone knocking at the door, it was Dimitri.

"The masters wish to see you, don't make them wait, follow me." He ordered. Heidi wasn't invited so she waited in my chamber.

He guided me to the same chamber I had been before. This time there were only the three of them.

"Thank you Dimitri, now leave us alone." Aro ordered.

"Isabella we have decided. You may stay with us, you can even keep that shameful habit of yours of feeding on animals if you wish to." Marcus said.

"We will help you to find out the full extension of your powers, but of course you will always use them in our benefit. Otherwise..." Caius said but was interrupted by Marcus.

"Otherwise we will forget about the friendship we keep with Carlisle and I guarantee you that you won't like what we have prepared for you." He threatened.

"Fair enough." I dared to say. "I am so honored you have accepted me."

"Dimitri will guide you to your new chambers, I bet you didn't like the dungeon. Tomorrow Irina will start with your training. Until then my dear." Aro told me.

Dimitri was waiting outside the main chamber. "Welcome Isabella, it's always a pleasure to receive fresh blood for so to speak. I can't wait to see what you're capable of." He seemed friendly but I remembered Heidi's words and gave no importance to his.

My new chamber was enormous, almost the size of the living room in Charlie's house. There was a pointless bed covered with very fancy purple clothes. The silk curtains were purple as well, and there was a huge bookshelf from wall to wall. The best of all is that rays of moonlight escaped through a small window on top of a wall. My luggage had been opened and my clothes kept inside the drawers. My prison cell wasn't that bad, if I had to stay there for centuries I would need to get used to it.

After Dimitri shut the door behind him, I took my cell phone to call Carlisle, I had promised to let them know everything. After two ringings he answered.

"Bella! Bella why did you take that long? We are all so worried. What happened?"

"They accepted me Carlisle. They want to explore my powers."

"Powers? What are you talking about?"

I told him about my immunity, he was very surprised.

"That makes you very interesting to them, but still don't trust them. They don't care about you Bella, they just want to take advantage from you. Gosh! I hope this sacrifice of yours is worthy."

"I miss you all so much Carlisle, please kiss everyone for me. I promise to keep in touch. Almost forgot, please tell Jacques Sevigny that I found his lost diamond."

Later that day, Heidi let herself into the chamber. Dimitri had told her the news, I had been accepted.

"Bella there's something more you need to know, I must alert you."

"What is it?" I asked worried.

"Tomorrow Irina will come to get you, she will try to expose your powers; and for what I heard she isn't very fond of you. I don't know what you've done to her but she feels very resentful about you."

Could she be the Irina from the Denali clan? Indeed she was and obviously hadn't forgotten about Laurent.

"She has become very close to Jane, they are your enemies. Watch out."

With that last warning she left the room.

I felt so strange, many feelings got in and out. Most of all I felt deeply alone. I didn't want to fight with Irina or Jane, I neither had the strength to try to gain the Volturi's acceptance. All I wanted was hope, I needed it; and if staying with them was the way to achieve it I would do it. I spent the whole night walking from one wall of the chamber to another until sunlight entered through the window.

Dimitri knocked at my door after dawn. "Irina is waiting for you, she will meet you at the gardens."

I followed him. He guided me through other corridors I had't been to before. The principal one had glass walls through which you could see to the other side. It seemed to be the interior of a museum. Slowly within time, people dressed up with shorts and hats started to walk by; they were tourists who of course couldn't look through the glass. It was like one of those ponds at the restaurants full of lobsters.

I heard a voice that sounded familiar, and then I saw her. It was Heidi guiding these innocent humans to their death. She was dazzling them with her beauty, making them to follow her wherever she went. That was her duty at the fortress, to join "food" for the court.

I stopped walking with disbelief, the museum worked as a slaughterhouse and Heidi was the executioner.

"No!" I shouted.

"What the hell?" Dimitri exclaimed halting his steps and turning towards me.

All of a sudden the humans at the other side of the wall stopped walking as if they had been frozen. Heidi kept speaking trying to hypnotize them but they didn't follow her. It was as if time had stopped running.

"What have you done?" Dimitri skeptically asked. His black eyes so wide open.

I felt a force coming out from me that I haven't experienced before, it was a deep need to protect those people. It didn't last longer, after some minutes Heidi regained her hypnotic power and guided the humans to their death. Dimitri grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs.


	12. Gift

Chapter 12 –Gift-

The fortress was a hidden city under Volterra's streets. All those humans peacefully slept every night without knowing they lied over their predator's cave. Dimitri and I must have crossed the fortress from north to south and climbed thousands of stairs until we got to the garden where Irina had been waiting. I was hoping to see sunlight, it hadn't been that long since the first beams of light had crossed my chamber's window. To my surprise, the trees were so tall and tight that very little light reached the floor, it was around twilight. A maze of short thick bushes was a trap to anyone who tried to peer in, any human who got too curious would get irremediably lost and surely found by death.

I could hear crickets, toads and birds singing; noises I hadn't heard in a while. I was so distracted by the life that surrounded me that I didn't feel Irina approaching.

"You won't believe what she just did." Dimitri told Irina with disbelief. He was pretty excited about what he had seen.

Irina was tall and very slim; she had long limp pale yellow hair and wore a blue long dress. She looked like an ice fairy tale princess.

"I can't wait to find out." She answered. "Welcome Isabella, you don't know me, but I surely know you. You don't know for how long I've been waiting for you." She bitterly said.

I did know her and obviously knew what she was talking about.

"Hello Irina, my pleasure." I said. "I do know you, from hearings at least. Your sister misses you very much."

She opened her eyes with surprise and gasped. I had found her weakness –her lost family-.

"I don't have a sister anymore, you can tell her to stop worrying about me next time you see her. I am way better now as you can see, and you weren't brought in here to talk about the Denalis." Irina ironically answered.

I didn't reply, I sensed her hate towards me instantly. Dimitri looked perplexed, he had no idea what we were talking about but he felt her loathe too.

"Dimitri says you did something astonishing down there, why don't you show me?"

"I don't know what I did or how."

"Don't you dare to mess up with my patience Bella!" She warned.

"Women! Tireless enemies, battle of vanity!" A voice said from the back. It was Aro, he arrived to see my progress. He grabbed Dimitri's hands and gasped a surprised expression; he saw through Dimitri's skin what had happened in the underground corridors.

"You broke Heidi's hypnotic powers! You extended your immunity to protect someone else." Aro said amused. "You are an uncut diamond, a very valuable acquisition for the coven."

I wasn't aware of what I've done, was I capable of preventing harm to others?

"No matter how long it takes, I will make you the most precious diamond Isabella and I'll do it myself. You are a task only a master could handle." Aro told me while he touched my cheek with his cold finger.

And so he did. Despite Jane's and Irina's disgust, Aro spent his whole time helping me discovering my powers. Within months he found out my immunity could cover anyone I wanted to, and I found out that Aro wasn't the mean vampire he intended to be. Caius and Marcus never dared to contradict their brother now I had became Aro's guardian angel. Except for Jane and Irina who were totally resentful, everyone in the fortress learned to respect me.

Heidi and I became very close friends; I discovered she had very good feelings. Though she was the one who led humans to their death she always felt wrong about it, she didn't know before knowing me that there was another way of surviving. Heidi started to go with me to hunt; at first she just watched, then she decided to taste the animals' blood. Though it didn't taste as humans' by far, she decided to try my way of living.

"So is it true you've never fed on humans?" She shyly asked.

"True as my name is Isabella. I find their scent pretty tempting, but rapidly I get unconsciously distracted by anything else and I lose any attempt of tasting human blood. You are my friend, I accept our nature and I don't want you to change and become someone else. This way of life is me, this is what I've been taught."

"Haven't you ever tried something else? I mean... do you want to continue being a vegetarian? Would you still be like this if you weren't taught by the Cullens?" Heidi shot with so many questions that it took me some time to answer.

"I know I'm free to chose, but I wouldn't forgive myself if I ever cause any harm to anyone. Maybe my protecting powers stop me from wanting to kill, maybe my soul doesn't want the burden of guilt."

"Your soul? Do you truly believe we have souls?"

"I truly do." I answered firmly. "Have you ever thought why is it you continue caring about your parents or why you feel wrong about taking those people to death? Feelings Heidi not thoughts."

"I'm not understanding your point." She answered perplexed.

"When I first came here you wanted to kill me because you thought I've fed on your parents and stole your diamond, remember?" She nodded.

"Where do you think that rage came from? Your heart? No, your heart is dead cold; your brain? No, I can't explain the very first sparkle of a feeling by chemical reactions between neurons. Absolutely not!" She was bewildered by the passion in my speech.

"Feelings are so magnificently powerful. Don't you see? Feelings transcend existence. You feel the very same love towards your parents as you did when you were a human, and that power must be kept somewhere... our souls." I finally added.

"Wow! I have never thought of that. That's the reason why you still love your Edward so much. You loved him as a mortal and..."

"I love him now so much more in my immortal existence." I interrupted.

After that chat, Heidi changed. She wasn't upset of being a different creature, she understood that her life was a gift that transcended from the love Jacques Sevigny had for her. Her father would have given his own life for hers. She even dared to ask Aro to assign her another task, she didn't want to kill anymore.

"I see you're making a revolution in the fortress my dear." Aro told me one evening when we were walking in the gardens. "If you weren't my angel I would be very upset with you."

"I don't understand master, have I done something wrong?" I asked though I already knew what he meant.

"Heidi wants to become a vegetarian dear, she wants to waste her hypnotic powers and has asked me to assign her another task. Have you any idea why she wants to disobey my orders?"

"It has never been my intention to make your subjects disobey your orders Aro, I am so sorry you think that way of me." I replied. "I just realised that Heidi wasn't comfortable with herself and I made her notice the great gift it is to be alive."

"Are you aware of that yourself Bella?" Aro asked. He knew I was hiding something since the very first day I came to Volterra. "What would you give to have Edward back? Would you give your life instead of his? You're trying to make everyone around you to feel alive, it has actually worked with me; but I bet you're so dead inside."

His words hurted me in the deepest, he was absolutely right. "I would ask you to kill me without hesitating if only I knew there was a chance to bring Edward to life, it wouldn't matter if I'm not here to see him again."

Aro released my arm and remained quiet for a long while, he was making a big effort to understand that kind of love.


	13. Dead walking

Chapter 13 –Dead walking-

Days, months and years passed by. I became one of the most important characters in the Volturi coven. I learned by the letters I received from Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens that the news of my powers had spread through every living vampire in the world. I was feared by some, even by vampires within my own coven. Everyone knew that I was Aro's protected and no one could ever dream of messing up with me.

Irina, Alec and Jane had stopped attacking me, I guess they got tired and just did their best to ignore me. Though, I always knew we would never be friends.

Aro was very fond of me by then, he decided he would take me to travel around the world. "You are so powerful my angel. I want you to see what I've seen, I want you to know what I know. Power means nothing without knowledge and I want you to be the most powerful creature."

Marcus and Caius didn't receive Aro's decision very well, none of them had ever abandoned the fortress for pleasure before and they were afraid. They feared Aro might want to become independent, perhaps to create a new empire with me. I became a dangerous creature even to them, even if all their suppositions were wrong.

Anyway, Aro and I started a journey all around the world; we waited for winters so we could hide our sparkling skins from sunlight with heavy warm clothes. He taught me so many languages which I learned very easily after staying some few months in each place. France, Spain, the rest of Italy, England, Ireland, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Germany, Switzerland, Russia, and China in thirteen cold winters. We attended to theatres, museums and palaces. There wasn't anything Aro couldn't answer, he was the wisest vampire ever. It became very obvious that Aro looked younger with every day he spent with me, I was his personal source of youth.

I did my best effort to enjoy the pleasures I had been given. I tried very hard to be thankful and kind with Aro but a piece of my mind was always somewhere else, and there was nothing I could do to hide it from him. Whenever I heard someone playing the piano or I saw a bronze haired boy I couldn't help myself from following the image or sound that reminded me of him. Edward, always Edward. My mind convinced me everyday that I should stop waiting for something that would never happen. But there was always this feeling, the one that has been with me since the day he died; and it was getting stronger. I don't know if it was the despair of the fifteen years that had passed ignoring if I would see him again but somehow I knew he was with me and the long wait was about to be over soon.

Every spring we returned to the fortress in Volterra. Heidi waited for me everytime so I could tell her everything I'd seen. Nothing in the coven had changed but me. I was starting to lose hope and everyone could tell there was something wrong with me.

One spring after coming back from the cold Russian cities Heidi asked me something that scared me. Could she be right?

"Bella have you noticed how happy Aro is because of you? He seems a hundred years younger don't you think?" Heidi asked after I told her about our trip and all the things Aro had bought for me.

"Yeah, well, I guess he finds my powers amusing. Besides, he once told me that he is amazed by my not lost humanity. It could be that, he misses his own."

"I don't think that's the whole point, I bet he knows what you're capable of by now; but I think you're getting too important for him." She said trying to suggest me something.

"He is important for me too, like a father you know. Aro is not the mean creature he resembles, he wears that mask with everyone but me. But... are you trying to tell me something?"

"Everyone talks while you are away, even Caius and Marcus..."

"Really? And what is that you all talk about?" I asked a little pissed of.

"Bella don't take me wrong, I'm just trying to alert you. The whole coven think that he... that he is in love with you." She finally stated.

I didn't answer. I had noticed he was very fond of me, but he couldn't be in love with me. Aro knew my heart would always belong to Edward and no one else. Even though Heidi's gossips concerned me. I would never be able to leave the Volturi if that was true.

"What is it my angel?" Aro asked me when he found me staring at the night moonless sky with my mind so many miles and years away. "I've tried everything to make you happy, I've taught you everything I know. I know you better than anyone else and there's something wrong with you; is there anything I can do for you? Tell me and you will have it."

"There's no way you can give me what I want, that hole cannot be filled." I froze him with my answer and I left him alone by the window.

"Wait!" Aro ordered. "I am talking to you!"

I turned around confused by the tone of his voice. He hadn't talked to me like that since my first year in Volterra. He was afraid. He feared I would leave.

"I am sorry master, I am feeling a little nostalgic right now."

"Nostalgic of what? The Cullens? Your human life? Edward? Come on Isabella! You've never had something real in your life; this existence I offer you is real and will last forever. I am not dead as your Edward, neither are you, so stop acting like a dead man walking!"

"It is so easy for you to speak like that isn't it? You have never loved anyone like I love Edward and you've never been loved in your thousand years! You're just using me, sucking life from me!" I shouted without guessing his next reaction. Aro knew I was right and I bet he was about to summon Jane and Alec to put me in the dungeons for talking to him in that way but he didn't. He approached to me slowly and put his arms around me to calm me down.

"Ok dear, I understand. Let's have a talk." He muttered near my ear.

Aro guided me to the gardens and we walked arm by arm as many times before, but this time it was different. We sat on a marble bench under the pine trees in complete darkness. He didn't dare to speak.

"I know Isabella that you didn't come here to join the Volturi because your life with the Cullens was empty. You came here for answers and I've been waiting this moment since the first day you step Volterra and I told you you have used Edward to become an immortal. Your pain was evident, you would've killed me with your eyes if you could. I know you've never stopped thinking of him. Why? Why don't you accept he is gone? Tell me, I need to know to understand you."

I was amazed by the patience and compassion Aro was able to feel. Maybe Heidi was wrong, he did care for me as a father. His eyes were wide open waiting for my answer.

"You are right master, I've never stopped thinking of him and I guess I never will. Let me go back in time to the battle where I was turned into a vampire and Edward got killed."

Aro was absolutely focused on me. "I wish you weren't immune to my powers, if only I could see your memories through your skin you wouldn't have to recall all those painful thoughts my angel."

"My bones were all broken, the venom started to circulate through my veins and the pain was suffocating. I was about to collapse but I didn't let my mind surrender. Edward's wounds were life threatening, I knew he was losing the battle against Victoria and there was nothing I could do to help him. He knew his time was done and when he was about to die he swore that he would come back for me. That oath has kept me alive master, I would have come here to ask you to join me with him if it wasn't for the hope I keep of seeing him again."

When I fnished my tale, Aro was looking at me with bewilderment. His mouth was so wide open I could see the back of his throat.

"You let me in... I saw everything through your skin. I reached your deepest memories."

Without noticing I had turned off my immunity, I wished Aro to see my memories so he did.

"But that is... impossible darling." Aro whispered completely shocked. He had a bewildered look as if he was remembering something he didn't want to share. I felt my heart dying for a third time, those fifteen years I lived without him for nothing! Aro read my gestures and saw how the remains of my soul abandoned my eyes. He was in pain too, he really didn't want to hurt me.

"There is a story my angel, a legend..." He said each word slowly while his mind was trying to accomodate the memories.

My soul came back to my body immediately, a glimpse of hope again. My eyes were bright topaz once more.

"I don't know if it really happened or it was a fantasy. In the first years of my transformation, my powers weren't as defined as are now; sometimes I couldn't distinguish between memories, fantasies and dreams. It all happened around eight hundred years ago, and I've never heard of this particular vampires again. But maybe I shouldn't be saying this to you angel. I don't want to deceive you. I am not sure if this is a real story."

"Please master, go on. I just need one little piece of hope to attach to." I begged.

"A couple of years after my transformation I still lived in my homeland. Caius and Marcus decided to leave me by myself so I could decide the course of my new existence, they were sure I would go back to them. I was around my twenties when everything happened, I was an idealistic young vampire who didn't accept himself as a murderer. I wandered through the country looking for another vampire who didn't want to become a monster like Caius and Marcus. I was like you and your family in the beginning."

"So what happened? What made you change?"

"That's another story my angel. The point is that I found a couple of young vampires, good ones. By that time I hadn't gained full control of my powers, I didn't understand the images very well; as I said before it was hard to tell the difference between real memories and dreams. I got confused very often."

"Who were these vampires you met?"

"Male and female, they were young as me, recently transformed but not novices anymore. They loved each other. I met them during a boat trip. We were starving, almost a week overseas and we hadn't fed at all, no animals on board and of course none of us would kill a human. We recognized each other immediately, the hunger was evident in our black eyes. He gave me his hand, his name was Constantine. As soon as I touched his skin I could feel the immense love he felt for her, it was overwhelming, almost intoxicating. After that first impression the images started to crumble in my mind. In their human lives they were married and were about to have a son when she got terribly sick. He left her promising he would be back with a cure to her illness but he came back with empty hands and too late. He found out the woman had died giving birth, the baby had been taken away by her family. Constantine was desperately looking for death, but death found him first in a dark alley. A vampire had been watching the young man, his intention wasn't to transform him but to feed on him. I don't know why this vampire didn't finish the task, the images I saw weren't complete and Constantine was transformed into a vampire."

"If the woman died, who was the female vampire you met?" I asked confused.

"It was her, Constantine's wife..."

"But how?"

"When Constantine introduced me to his wife I gently kissed her hand, what I saw was absolutely unbelievable. She kept the memories of her last minutes as a human, she remembered giving birth to a boy and of course I could also feel her overwhelming love for them. The next images were confusing, a mixture of colors, absolute darkness and then light again. She was born again."

"What? She was reborn as a human? How?" I was utmostly astonished.

"Bella don't take my words wrong, I suppose that was what happened but I am not sure. I had to release her hand and the next time I had the chance to touch her I made an enormous effort to reach her memories. I saw a beautiful girl growing up and then she met Constantine. She immediately knew she had to be with him and obviously she was transformed, he had been patiently waiting for her to grow up; he always knew it was her. I never dared to asked them about the images, they didn't even guess I had the ability to peer into their minds. They told me they were looking for their lost son, who by the time must have been around twenty years old, the same age the girl was when she found Constantine."

"Did they find their son?"

"I don't know, I never saw them again. I could say I know every living vampire in this world but I've never heard of this couple, it was as if they had vanished; maybe they never existed and were just a trick of my mind to distract me from the urgent feeling of killing."

That was all I needed to know. I approached to Aro and gave him a kiss. "Thank you."


	14. News

Chapter 14 – News –

After the night when Aro told me the story about Constatine I recovered my eager to live. Even though it wasn't a real story I decided that as Carlisle once told me, everything is possible. Mysterious things happen daily in this world, unknown events even to vampires. I recovered the strength to go on and everyone at the fortress noticed I sparkled new energy.

One evening Heidi came to me with a letter. How strange it is to receive letters these days.

"Bella, Bella!" Heidi said excited. "Your father sent you a package, by its weight I could tell he's being writing for years!"

I wasn't very sure what it could be, my first feeling was fear; was everything alright? I stole the package from Heidi's hands and unwrapped it quickly. There were about a dozen letters inside and a small note in Carlisle's hand writing.

"_Hello my dear, I hope you're fine. Don't worry everything is ok. I travelled to Chicago last week and I paid a visit to the grave. I found out that Mr. Cohen the guard at Oakswood cemetery passed away. A young boy gave me a package for you. He said that Mr. Cohen had promised to let you know if someone ever visited Edward's grave. By the description he gave me I guess Alice has been around the past few years. She delivered a letter on top of the grave every year. I thought you should have them. Take care, we are hoping so much to see you soon. We miss you very much. Love, Carlisle."_

"Heidi I can't believe this! Alice! Oh God I'm so happy!"

"I will leave you alone so you can read your letters, see you later Bella." Heidi said before shutting my chamber door behind her. I was unsure of reading, maybe Alice wrote down her hatred towards me; maybe she wrote to Edward and I shouldn't be reading her feelings. On the other hand, if Carlisle sent me the letters is because he thought I should read them. So I did.

I recognized Alice's hand writting immediatly, it reflected her personality from bottom to top. The first letter was for Edward.

"_Hello Edward, I still can't believe how much I miss you. I feel so empty without you, you were the brother I ever wanted. First of all, I want to apologize for everything. You don't know the enormous effort I made to come here. I still believe it's my fault you being here three feet under; if only I saw that murderer's intentions! I destroyed your life and Bella's. Oh Edward, if only you knew... I abandoned her too. She will never forgive me, I let her down twice. I will never be able to look at her to the eyes."_

My hands started shaking with emotion. Alice didn't hate me, she was scared of me! But how? We were almost sisters, how could I ever blame her for what happened? I kept reading, every letter had a picture of Alice and Jasper in a different spot. They looked exactly the same as I remembered and thankfully they remained together. They travelled all around the world, I guess Alice was looking for something too. After reading three or four letters, I found one that was written for me.

"_I know you are with the Volturi now. I saw you making your decision so probably you will never get to read this. After all these years without knowing about me you must think I'm the worst sister, I bet you hate me if you ever get to think about me. I guess hate is better than indifference. I deserve it all. I just want you to know that I think of you every second. Jasper and I have travelled from one place to another looking for an answer, a way to rebuild our lives. I didn't want to make any contact with you until I had something real, the answer I know you are looking for. There is hope for you and Edward, I assure you. Bella, one last thing, forgive me if you can. Your sister that loves you, Alice."_

What was that all about? That wasn't the Alice I loved, this version of her was so lost in remorse and despair. I felt immediately guilty for not having looked for her before. How stupid I was, how could I ever think that Alice Cullen hated me? I was so ashamed of myself and so abashed with the first lines, that I didn't pay special attention to the last paragraph. I reread the letter several times. Could she be suggesting that she also believed that Edward would come back for me? Within a second I had made up my mind. I would leave the clan and look for Alice. Aro had already given me the hope I needed, so it was time to find it out by myself.

Aro anticipated to my thoughts so he came one day with news for me.

"I have a surprise for you my angel. We will travel to America, I've already talked with Carlisle. They're all so anxious to see you again my dear."

"What? Really?" I asked.

I couldn't make my thoughts clear, Aro was aware that I wanted to leave. He wanted to travel with me to control the situation and gain some time to find a way to stop me from leaving him.

"Aro, there's something I would like to ask for. You know Heidi and I are very good friends so I was wondering if we could take her with us; I want her to know the place where I was born." The truth is that I wanted the Sevigny's daughter to join the Cullens and have a different life.

"We'll do as you wish, but you have to promise me something Bella." Aro seriously told me.

"What is it? I'll do as you say."

"You have to promise me that you will come back to Volterra with me, I won't allow you to stay with the Cullens."

"I didn't know you had me here by force Aro, I've always thought I lived in Volterra for my own will."

"You do my angel, it's just that I can't live without you now. You are my guardian angel and I am yours, you know that. I don't know what my brothers or other members of the clan would do to you if I stop supporting your back."

My mind gave a complete twist. Was I his hostage?

"Are you threatening me? In that case Aro I'd rather stay. If I'm not free to decide my future I don't want to have one. You can call Jane and Felix to take me to the dungeons, or I could go myself. I will starve myself to death."

"Don't take me wrong Isabella, you know I would never punish you with the dungeons; I won't punish you in any way. Of course you are free to decide for yourself about everything, I am just afraid of losing you." He said while he put his head down, I've never seen him surrender like that.

"Wait a second Aro, I haven't decided anything. We are just planning to make a trip as every winter remember?" And then I remembered the chat in which Heidi told me her guesses about Aro's feelings towards me. It wasn't fair for him.

He gave me a tender smile, but I guess somehow he was regretting his decision of visiting the Cullens.

The weeks before our departure I realised Aro was acting a little strange. We didn't share any long walks in the garden as we used to, and he hadn't summoned me to his library to talk about books. He was releasing me little by little. Even Heidi noticed that he was preparing himself for letting me go. It was a lost battle, there was nothing he could do to make me stay.

The winter arrived and everything was prepared to leave to Seattle, the city where the Cullens had their home. Emmet and Rosalie travelled a lot and visited Carlisle and Esme almost once a year. They all gathered to receive us. Rosalie told me in her last letter that Alice and Jasper visited them a couple of months ago, she was going to try to find her so she could meet us too.

Caius and Marcus were excited for our trip for the very first time. They were hoping I wouldn't come back, and everything would be as it was seventeen years before. The night before our flight to America I decided to walk through the gardens I had got to love for the last time; it had become a part of me to say goodbye to empty places. Unexpectedly, I found that Caius and Marcus coincidentally decided to refresh themselves too.

"Good evening Isabella, what a susprise to find you here." Caius lied. I knew they were expecting me. Jane was standing some feet away, just in case.

"Good evening master." I answered.

"We just want to wish you a good..." Caius was suddenly interrupted by Marcus.

"Cut the crap dear brother, lets tell Isabella how we really feel about her leaving. The truth is Isabella, that we will not miss your presence here. You've always been a threaten to us and we want you to leave for good." Marcus stated coldly.

"We know our dear brother Aro won't let you go that easily, you've made him live again. But don't worry we'll make things easy for you both. We are going to have a chat with him tonight too, you can be sure that we'll make him change his mind." Caius said.

I was listening without being able to speak. Jane was smiling at me, she was absolutely happy.

"You can come back of course whenever you want to, you just have to allow time to make its job. Aro will soon find another distraction, he will forget you." Caius continued.

"Just one little thing, if Aro ever finds out we had this conversation we will go to wherever you are and hunt you and your family. Be sure that if you don't keep your word it would be as if the Cullens never existed." Marcus threatened.

"But I... I can't do this to him. I can't lie to him, he's always been too good to me." I said when I found the strenght to speak.

"Nonsense, I've always thought you were such an hypocrite!" Jane shouted. "You are already planning to abandon him, I read those letters your silly sister sent you!"

"How could you?" I shouted back.

"I never stopped watching you, I always knew you don't belong here and no one can deny I am right!" Jane's hatred was evident. I had taken her place and she wanted it back.

"Can't you see it Bella? Noone wants you here, if you dare to come back with Aro after this trip to Seattle be sure that we will make things a little difficult for you from now on. We can't allow you to continue playing with our brother's feelings. I guess that taking men to their own destruction is another of your gifts." Marcus added ironically.

"You have my word." That was all I could answer.


	15. Alice

Chapter 15 – Alice –

I am writing this down in an effort to forgive myself, I need to put my ideas in order so I can understand my own actions. I don't know if all these years away from my beloved family have been worthy but I needed to stay apart. I know I wouldn't have borne any punishing look from them though they never blamed me openly.

That day in the meadow I had the feeling something was wrong, I was scared but I didn't know the true meaning of my fear until I saw the wolves' faces. In my mind I saw Bella transforming, suffering as any other vampire during the process. I saw my family leaving Forks, Edward wasn't with them neither was I.

I don't know how everything happened. Edward was the fastest vampire ever and of course he was many times stronger than Victoria. Maybe he got distracted one tenth of a second but it was enough for her to get Bella and transform her; maybe after that he felt so guilty for letting it happen that he surrendered. I don't know, many theories had crossed my mind but we will never be sure.

After the charade of Edward and Bella's death was prepared for Charlie, Jasper and I had a long chat. He was absolutely abashed for Edward and Bella, he told me he could never imagine being on her shoes. I meant everything for him and after what happened he swore he would never be apart from me. Of course he sensed my remorse and guilt, he asked me a hundred times not to feel that way but his powers couldn't do anything for me; I even thought of going to Volterra to ask for my own death but I couldn't do that to Jasper. I needed to find peace, my presence wouldn't be any helpful to anyone in my state. Jasper and I decided to leave. He told me I should wait for Bella's transformation and talk to her, but I must accept I acted cowardly. I love her very much as if we were real sisters and I didn't want to see her suffering, blaming me. I know she will never forgive me for abandoning her when she most needed me, that's why I decided to look for something that could bring them back together.

I wrote a letter to the family saying goodbye, Jasper and I left during Edward's funeral services. Only Carlisle and Esme went to Chicago's cemetery while Rose and Emmet stayed in Forks to take care of Bella. Our first destination was Volterra.

I didn't speak during the flight to Italy but it was easy for Jasper to guess my thoughts; he knew what I would ask the Volturi for.

The Volturi brothers received us very pleased, they thought we had changed our minds and decided to join their forces. I will never forget their faces when I told them what had happened, they first thought I was teasing them. Aro took my hand and then he knew that everything I told them was true, he saw my memories about Bella's transformation and Edward's dead body. "It is so a shame, Edward was a really powerful vampire, we had hoped of having him in our coven." Aro said after realising my hand. "Poor Carlisle, he must be feeling awful." He added.

"But what about Isabella? I can't wait to see what a magnificent creature she'll become; no human had ever been immune to our powers so imagine now she is a vampire... I definitely want to meet her." Caius said coldly, of course he didn't care as much as Aro for Edward and Carlisle. I told them Bella was staying with my family, she was a Cullen.

Marcus remained quiet listening our conversation, just moving his tired eyes from one place to another. "So what brings you here young Alice? Did you just come here to inform us the news? Is there anything else we can do for you?" Marcus finally asked, his guessings were right. I wanted something from them.

"The truth Marcus is that I want to know something." I answered. The three brothers saw my determination, I didn't mean to go by the branches. "Do you know in all your achieved wisdom if there has been a creature, vampire or not, who comes back from death?"

Marcus and Caius laughed ironically. "You are so naive for being a vampire. What makes you think there is something after death? Not even humans know for sure what happens after they stop breathing, that's why since the beginning of history they have created all these legends about god and that's why there are so many religions in this world. They all want to believe that their lives aren't insignificant, the poor meaningless idiots want to think that they mean something to someone." Marcus told me before starting laughing again. Aro didn't speak or laugh at all.

Jasper and I decided it had been enough of ironies, we turned around to leave when Aro stopped us. "Just legends Alice, we don't know for sure if it is possible otherwise we would already tried ourselves. You know how boring our endless existence can be, but we won't risk trying if there's not certainty about coming back. We are supernatural creatures, as the wolves and many others around and we shouldn't exist at all by nature. But we are the proof that impossible things can happen, even to us damned creatures. I am open to everything, I am glad you are too. Now leave, tell Carlisle we are very sorry for his son."

Jasper grabbed my hand and we left the fortress, there was hope.

Through the years that followed we visited every vampire clan we knew. Amun and Benjamin in Egypt; Maggie, Siobhan and Liam in Ireland; Stefan and Vladimir in Romania. None of them knew. Kachiri, Senna and Zafrina received us in Brazil; they told us many budu legends about some magical powders Haitians used to bring their dead ones to life once again. We traveled to Haiti looking for the source of the rumors but we found no proof. Only local stories of magic and witchcraft but we didn't see any living dead and of course we wouldn't try any kind of magical powders with Edward.

Throughout the years I wondered how was Bella managing her lonely life. I sometimes snooped in her future and saw how happy she was in Edward's old house. I can tell she was doing fine but always so lonely and hoping for something that never happened. Then, one day I felt worried without knowing about what; I concentrated in Bella's future and saw her leaving to Volterra. I guess she was tired of waiting and decided to look for what she needed. I knew Aro was going to accept her, even more than he ever expected. I can't blame her for leaving the family, she needs hope just as I. I saw her discovering her hidden powers and how everyone at the fortress feared and respected her. She became such a powerful vampire, just as the Volturi thought she would be. Jasper and I were kind of worried though, Aro was getting a little too fond of her and that could be dangerous knowing the jealousy she was creating in the other vampires. I knew by Rosalie who kept close contact with us that Bella was traveling all around the world, she was almost happy. Almost, until she started to lose hope.

Every year I did my best effort for not going after her. I couldn't just walk by and say "Hi Bella, how have you been all these years?" after what I did to her. I needed to communicate with her somehow, but I never dared to look for her. My research hadn't gone anywhere, I had nothing real to make her believe Edward could come back and I decided that I wouldn't see her again until I had the certainty of a way to bring them up together again; no matter it took eternity.

Jasper and I moved to Chicago and started living at the house my family used to live in years ago. I visited Edward's grave very often. One day the cemetery guard approached to me, I guess he had always been afraid because he had never spoken to me before. He said that his uncle met Edward's wife and that he was very fond of her. I obviously knew he was talking about Bella. The young man told me that Bella had asked his uncle to let her know if any relative ever visited the Masen's grave, so I decided to write a letter every now and then hoping Bella would read them one day.

I made a trip to Forks, I owed Bella a visit to her dad. Charlie was getting old, around his sixties I guess. I had to make some arrangements to appear older to Charlie's eyes. He was so glad to see me but he couldn't hide his sadness. Charlie wasn't alone, the wolf pack were all imprinted, and had already wives and kids. I never thought I would be so happy of seeing Jacob, he was happy too. He introduced me to his wife, a local girl from La Push and their son Jake, a beautiful eight year old just as gorgeous as his parents that called Charlie "grandpa". Jacob told them I was an old friend from highschool. When we were alone he asked about Bella, he still loved her memory. I told him everything I knew and he was sad of hearing we were so apart from each other. Charlie's living room was full with Bella's pictures, he even had one of Edward. He still missed them very much but he kept on with his life the best he could.

We stayed in Chicago for three or four years, we were acting as Peter and Charlotte our nomad friends. The truth is that we didn't find the amount of peace we needed anywhere. We were moving again, this time to London, the weather just fitted our moods. Before leaving America again I realised I was ready to see my dear family once for all. The Cullens had moved to Seattle, their house was exactly as the one we used to have in Forks and they had a room for Jasper and I in case we decided to come back. They were all so happy to see us, Esme couldn't stop hugging us. Emmet behaved like a teenager, playing with Jasper as they used to long ago. We talked the whole night, Carlisle and Esme were planning to stay there for a while, it had been enough of Chicago for them. We were together again, of course we missed Edward and Bella but we tried not to talk about them. I promised to stay in touch, I wouldn't disappear once more.

The rainy city of London received us very well, we bought an apartment near Soho. The months passed by with any incident until September. Jasper and I were were coming back from hunting in the outsides of the city, we were walking by the street when we heard someone playing the piano inside one of the houses. We recognized the song immediatly, it was Bella's lullaby. There was no way anyone could know that melody, it was only written in Edward's mind, so we shook our heads and kept walking. But there it was again, the music kept reaching our ears and we felt shocked once more. We halted our steps and turned back without talking towards the source of the music. We watched through the window and we were paralyzed instantly for what we saw.

Inside the house we saw through the window a teenage boy with bronze untidy hair with thick eyebrows and green eyes, he had Edward's features but it couldn't be him, we could hear his heart beat. He was playing Bella's lullaby without looking to any stave, he just knew how to play it. He felt our gaze and lifted his head to watch us, he stopped playing. He seemed confused but I sensed some familiarity between us.

"Sorry" Jasper told him through the window, "We felt attracted by your music, we've heard that song before. Please continue playing we're leaving." But I wasn't moving at all, I couldn't believe what I had just seen; Jasper had to grab my hand to force me to stop staring at the boy. When my feet finally attempted to move I started shaking, I was hysterical.

"I... I have no words, did you just see what I saw?" I asked to Jasper. "It is him, it must be him; his face, his hands, his music..." I continued saying. Jasper hugged me trying to calm me down but it was impossible, he almost had to drag me to our place. Once there, Jasper told me "Love you need to cool down, what we saw is unbelievable but there must be a logic explanation; Edward is dead and no one on Earth can change that. I don't want you to make false expectations, it will be very painful." I couldn't understand his words at all, I just kept thinking of that face and the feeling I had when the boy stared back, he recognized something in me. I promised Jasper not to do anything crazy, we had to be sure before telling the family; Jasper was right about false expectations.

The next days I decided to secretly follow the boy; he walked every morning to high school. I never talked to him until one day he felt my presence. He turned around and saw me walking behind him, as if he had guessed my thoughts, so I couldn't hide before being discovered. "Hello, are you lost?" He asked me. His voice was identical to Edward's except for the British accent. I remained quiet and couldn't answer his question right away, I was still focused in the tone of his voice.

"You're the girl of the other day; I was playing the piano and you and your friend watched through the window, remember?"

"Oh, I guess you're right. I am sorry for that, we didn't mean to interrupt your lessons." I finally answered almost recovered from the shock of having him so close. His human scent was very different from any other.

"Don't worry, my neighbors do that very often; I suppose I annoy them with the noise. So what brings you to this neighborhood so early in the morning? Do you live around?" He asked.

"I am walking to school, I didn't know we attended the same high school, I never saw you before." I lied. Jasper and I hadn't attended high school since the time in Forks, but I needed an excuse to be around.

"I don't recall either seeing you before at school, but your face is so familiar to me." The boy said. "By the way, my name is Edward Williams."

I stopped walking. There was no doubt, it was him. "I... I am Alice Cullen." I finally answered. It took me some seconds to understand and believe what was happening, I was so happy I couldn't help smiling; I wanted to hug that stranger more than anything else. I wanted to run back home and tell Jasper and Bella. She had to know.

"Cullen ah? I don't know why it seems to me I know you since a long time ago, a deja vous perhaps. America right?"

"What? Oh yes, Jasper and I just arrived from America three or four months ago. It's nice to make a new friend. Edward, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, we are friends now. You know my name and I know yours, so you can ask anything." He said sarcastically.

"How old are you?"

"I turned seventeen last June, why do you ask? Are you planning to give me a surprise present?" He asked and then started laughing. That laughter was the most intoxicating sound in the world, I would've done anything to listen to his laughter every second.

I made the math, seventeen years had passed since my brother's death. The family had to know he was reborn, as a human. We walked to school together, he told me that he lived with his parents, only son. He said that he played the piano since he learned to walk, music was everything to him.

"About music, where did you learn the song you were playing the other day?" I asked him.

"Nowhere, I guess it has always been in my mind, that melody makes me feel so good; it relaxes me and makes me happy when I'm sad."

"Oh, I see. Do you feel sad very often?" I couldn't stop my interrogatory, I was so curious about him obviously.

"Mmm, not very often. I some times feel I am looking for something but I don't know what, it must be my loneliness; I am not a very social person."


	16. Miracle

Chapter 16 –Miracle-

Aro, Heidi and I were ready for leaving. Heidi was very excited of abandoning the fortress for the very first time since she was transformed.

Aro didn't speak a word during the flight, he was sad and thought full. I guess his brothers tried to convince him of letting me go as they said they would, but he wasn't accepting the idea at all.

"You'll love Seattle, it isn't as warm as Italy but it is special. I was born in a little town near the city named Forks, hopefully we'll have time to visit it; I wonder how changed it is by now." I told Heidi trying to distract myself from Aro's silence. Of course I couldn't go back to Forks, no one should see me, and obviously I wasn't prepared for going back to the place where everything started.

When the plane arrived it was snowing. I was counting the seconds to see the whole family again, I wondered if Alice was there to receive us. The first one I saw when we got out of the costumes was Emmett, he was taller than everyone else. He released Rosalie's hand and ran to hug me, he raised me through the air as if I was a feather. The rest of the family followed and all of them joined to receive me. To my disappointment, Alice and Jasper weren't with them. After they all greeted me, Carlisle turned around to say hello to Aro.

"Good evening Aro, it's been a while. We are so pleased you brought us our Bella back, we miss her very much." Carlisle told Aro while he extended his hand to welcome him. They shook hands.

"Good evening Carlisle, I am glad to be here, but I am not bringing her back." Aro seriously replied. Then he turned around and said hello to the rest of the family. I tried not to worry about his comment, but I started to fear he would try to take me back with him to Italy. The Cullens also noticed some hostility in Aro's words. To distract my thoughts, I introduced Heidi to the family.

"Family this is Heidi Sevigny, my dear friend since I arrived to Volterra. I'm sure you'll find out to whom she resembles." I told them smiling. Of course they recognized the Sevigny´s daughter right away and welcomed her warmly.

Rose and Esme couldn't stop touching and staring at me, they wanted to confirm I wasn't a ghost. "Oh Bella, I can't believe you're here again, I am so glad! You look beautiful as always." Esme told me.

Carlisle drove us to their new home, to my amusement, it was exactly as the one they owned at Forks. There was a room for Heidi and me just in the place where Edward's room used to be. The Cullens and I sat in the living room and talked for hours; no one paid special attention to Aro who wasn't speaking at all. I told them everything about the places Aro had taken me trying to include him in the conversation but he was lost in his thoughts. Carlisle gave me a look once in a while, he knew what I was thinking and he was worried too.

The next days, Emmett, Rose and I took Heidi to know the city. She was very happy and excited like a little girl. She understood the reason why I asked her to go with us, she had to know there was a different way of living.

Three or four days after our arrival, Carlisle said he needed to have a word with me. He took me to the back garden away from everyone else.

"Bella you don't really know how glad I am of having you here, I was longing to see you again so much."

"Thank you Carlisle, I am very happy too, this is the place where I belong to. In fact, there's something I want to ask you for. I wonder if you would like to receive Heidi and I in your family again, she is like a sister to me and I already have what I was looking for, so there's no need to be apart anymore." I said looking Carlisle directly to the eyes.

"You don't need to ask Bella, this will always be your home and we will always be your family; I once told you you are welcome any time you want to come back." I started smiling but then he added.

"Though there's something you need to know, these past days you were hanging out with the guys, Aro and I had a long conversation. He told me that he spent many years and effort in transforming you into the gem you are now, he thinks you are not being grateful. The truth darling, is that he is trying to find an excuse to take you back with him."

"I always knew something like this could happen but there is still time to convince Aro that my place isn't in Volterra, he has to let me go. Besides, Caius and Marcus promised they would make my life miserable if I went back."

"You aren't understanding the whole point Bella; Aro didn't say the words but I guess he is in love with you. His feelings towards you are so powerful that he wouldn't care to start a war against his brothers and our family if he had to just to be with you." Carlisle added.

"What? No Carlisle, you must be wrong; Aro is like a father to me in any case. He knows I could never love him in any other way. If he truly loves me as you say, he'll have to let me stay."

"I hope you're right, I won't allow Aro or anyone else to force you doing something you don't want to. If we have to fight to protect you, we won't hesitate in doing so."

"There's no need of that, I'm sure I'll find a way to make him change his mind. Don't worry, everything will be fine." I said without believing my own words. The truth is that I was very scared, I wasn't allowing anyone else to fight for me, not once again.

The winter went by, I was enjoying my family's company so much that I did my best not to worry about Carlisle's suspicions. Aro disappeared once a week, we knew he wasn't leaving to know the city, he left to kill and feed himself. We knew we couldn't stop him.

It was February, the snow kept falling but I knew the time was approaching. I had decided to try to convince Aro in a peaceful way, otherwise I would go back with him again despite the Volturi's threaten. I wasn't prepared for another battle and losing the people I love in my attempt of staying. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Volterra in the first place, once you belong to the Volturi clan, you do it forever. Carlisle was the only vampire who abandoned the coven and was still alive to tell it.

One morning, the Cullens, Heidi and I were preparing to go out to hunt. Carlisle's cell phone rang and we all watched him answer it.

"Hello? Oh! How are you dear? Where are you? Guess who's here with us?" Carlisle said excited to the other person in the phone. "Bella dear! She is here to stay, can you believe it? She is hoping to see you both." He turned around to face us. "It's Alice." He whispered covering the phone's mic with his hand. "What? Calm down, what do you mean? Explain yourself please!"

We heard Carlisle's tone of voice changing while the conversation continued; he took his phone and locked himself in his studio. We were all wondering what might Alice had said to upset Carlisle that much.

"I bet Alice and Jasper are planning to move to Siberia this time." Emmett jiggled.

"No, no, no; she surely told Carlisle she wants to become a movie star and become a public figure." Rosalie mocked. We all started laughing.

"You ought to meet Alice, she's wonderfully crazy..." Emmett started to tell Heidi when Carlisle came out from his studio. He was whiter than the snow outside; he stood up there in front of us without speaking. He couldn't find the words.

"What is it dear? Is everything ok?" Esme asked him.

"I... I don't know, I guess Alice lost her mind." He said while looking for a place to sit. "She said Edward is back." Carlisle finally turned to face us and spat the words, waiting carefully for my reaction.

We all shared questioning looks with each other. I stood up and started shaking, then I ran to kneel near Carlisle's feet. Aro was there too, standing in a corner of the living room without saying a word.

"What are you saying Carlisle? How does she dare to do this to us?! Please, I'm begging you; tell us everything she told you." I pleaded.

"There's no need for that, Alice will tell you personally." Carlisle answered covering his face with his hands, he couldn't believe it either. In fact, he didn't want to believe Alice's words to find out later the pain in disappointment. There had to be a mistake.

We heard the door open. Alice and Jasper stepped inside holding hands. I was still laying on the floor. I saw her smiling, Jasper was smiling as well. She released Jasper's hand and ran towards me, she tried to hug me but I rejected her with all my strength.

"Why Alice? What have I done to you? I knew you hated me but I never thought you were capable of hurting me in this way! There's no need to lie!" I shouted angrily.

Alice froze her movements and kept staring at me, she was about to collapse.

"She is not lying Bella, she doesn't hate you." Jasper said still standing by the door. "We've seen him, his back. You know me, I wouldn't have allowed her to come here and tell you all this, but I've seen Edward with my own eyes. I swear to you all that he's been given a second chance."

Esme ran to stand by Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie held hands and stepped closer. Heidi stayed in the back to watch Aro's movements. I was fighting against the need of running to Alice and thank her, even if it was all a lie it was the most beautiful lie my ears could hear. It was the miracle I ever wanted to hear about.

"Please Alice, explain to us." Carlisle asked her.

We gathered in the living room to listen to Alice and Jasper's story; no one dared to breathe or move at all. They told us everything they knew about this human Edward and how they met him playing my lullaby. They had spent the last five months near him becoming his friends, making sure there was no mistake. "It is him, I swear. Edward didn't break his promise." Alice finally added.

"There's just one thing," Jasper said, "Edward doesn't seem to remember his past life, he feels very attracted to us but he doesn't know why."

"It is easy to know why, he feels attracted to you as any other human. Your voice, your face, even your smell attracts him in; but that doesn't mean that boy is Edward Cullen." Aro interrupted. It was the first time he spoke since Alice and Jasper arrived.

I turned around to see him, his face was transformed by hatred.

"I bet he will know me." I said.

"Oh no, he won't. I'll take care of that myself." Aro answered and left the house faster than a beam of light.


	17. Alive

Chapter 17 – Alive –

I could feel something inside me moving, it was like an old watch machinery who had started working again for the first time in seventeen years. I was alive, the hope I kept since the first day shone inside of me; I always knew Edward was somewhere waiting for us and Alice had found him. Words weren't enough to thank her. There was fear too, the fear of disappointment, what if it wasn't him? What if he was but he didn't recognize me? What if he recognized me but he didn't love me? I needed to know, I needed to see him. Above all, I needed to arrive first than Aro. He had rushed to leave the house to get rid off of the human threaten that had the power to step between Aro and I forever.

"Don't worry, I'll go after him to make you guys some time to arrive earlier." Heidi told me. "Good luck Bella, I wish with all my soul that this boy is really your Edward. I'll see you soon."

"Thank you and take care, remember Aro is blinded by jealousy, try not to get hurt." Carlisle told her.

Heidi called Dimitri on her way back to Europe. She told him to alert the Volturi about Aro's plans. "Please Dimitri, tell Caius and Marcus that Aro is capable of anything, even to break the law himself; he's planning to hunt an innocent kid and kill him. This will start a war with the rest of the vampires, you know every vampire outside the fortress will support the Cullens and Troy will burn. You have to stop Aro, hurry! I'm on my way after him but I won't be able to stop him alone."

After Heidi left the house, we prepared to travel to England; we couldn't wait any longer to have our Edward back. I knew I had to talk to Alice before leaving, she couldn't continue thinking I hated her. Alice was preparing her suitcase in her room, I knocked the door discretely.

"Hi, may I come in?" I asked. "I... I need to talk to you." The face I saw when I came in wasn't the face I remembered. She was sad, she had spent the last seventeen years feeling remorse and that had changed her features.

"Of course you may, I need to talk to you too. I... I am so sorry Bella. Please forgive me, I swear I will never leave you again."

"Don't be sorry, I read your letters and I know your reasons; we are sisters remember?"

"Of course I'm sorry, here I am risking Edward again, I should've waited until Aro left to tell you about him. I'm so stupid, I should've known Aro would react the way he did; I always knew he cared about you more than you can imagine."

"Aro would've known anyway, you know anything can be hidden from him. Alice you've made me live again, you have no idea how happy I am. Everything will be fine now the Cullens are back together, I know it."

We took the first flight we found to England. None of us could believe we would see Edward again.

Alice and Jasper drove us to their place. There was no evidence of Aro's presence anywhere, maybe Heidi and the Volturi stopped him before he could find Edward.

The Cullens and I decided we couldn't just tell Edward we were his past life family, it would be very hard for him to understand. No one is prepared to hear the unbelievable, hearing about vampires is one thing, but being one in a past life is something any human would believe. He had to discover everything by himself. Besides, there was the law too. Showing ourselves to Edward as we really are would be the perfect excuse for the Volturi to eliminate him. No human could know, we had to act carefully and wait; hopefully Edward's soul would remember.

"We can be the family we used to be back in Forks." Alice suggested. "Jasper and I already attend to the same high school he does, we can pretend as we did before, we already know our roles. This time you'll take Edward's place." She said pointing at me.

"Hold on a second, it feels like we are harassing him; it all sounds like a trap to set him in." I answered. "I don't know if I'll be able to stand the temptation of having him so close without going after him, I've waited for so long."

"Calm down Bella, I know you will. You won't do anything that could risk Edward." Carlisle replied.

It was decided. We would be the Cullen family again. Carlisle talked to his medical contacts to find him a job; Emmett, Rose and I applied for getting into high school when winter was over. And Esme started to look for a suitable home for us away from the city.

Jasper and Alice left looking for Edward, they didn't allow me to go with them. Aro hadn't found him, he was alright. I needed to talk to Heidi to know what had happened. Aro wasn't mean, above all, he wouldn't do anything that made me hate him. I knew I had to talk to him to say goodbye in a proper way. He had been my mentor after all.

"Bella I don't think that going back to Volterra is a good idea, what if Aro doesn't allow you out? I know Aro, he won't stay with arms crossed. In only two days the classes will begin and you will get to see Edward again. Please, wait." Carlisle suggested. He was worried.

"I know it's dangerous and risky but I know Aro too, maybe better than you do. I swear I'll come back in two days, I wouldn't miss the chance to see Edward for anything. Please don't tell the rest of the family about my plans, I don't want to worry them too."

"I won't dear, take care. I trust you, please be safe."

I flought to Volterra before Alice and Jasper arrived. She obviously knew what I was going to do so I had to leave before she could stop me.

Volterra's central square was empty, it was too cold for turists. I walked to the hidden entrance and knocked three times. The door opened in front of me but no one was there to receive me as always. I got to the main chamber, the two vampires at each side of the door stepped aside so I could get in. When the door opened I could see Caius and Marcus, they were waiting for me again.

"Well, well, what do we have here? I thought you were smarter than that Bella, I remember telling you not to ever come back." Marcus told me.

"What brings you here Isabella? We heard your Edward is back as a fragile human, we thought you couldn't wait any longer to be with him; why is it you are spending your time with us?" Caius inquired.

"Hello masters, I didn't come here to stay. I want to talk to Aro if it is possible."

"What for? You've already played with him enough. Fortunately Heidi told us about our brother's plans before he could manage to accomplish them, it would've been hard to kill our own brother Aro for breaking the rules, and all because of you. It was difficult enough to stop him, if he sees you again I don't know what could happen." Caius replied. I could see he was getting angry.

"I just wanted to thank him for everything he's done for me, he is like a father to me."

"Don't be such a sentimental idiot, leave and thank him with your absence. We'll help you to keep your human Edward safe as long as you don't ever come back. Aro will be fine."

I turned around and left the main chamber. Heidi was waiting for me outside. We hugged each other.

"Thank you so much for what you've done, you bought us time to keep Edward alive. Now hurry, we must leave." I told her.

"No Bella, I'm staying. I am very thankful you introduced me to your family but this is my place. Besides, you need someone inside the fortress to inform you about the Volturi's next moves." She kissed me in the cheek and turned around.

"Ok, just one more favor. If you see Aro tell him I am very grateful for everything he's done for me."

I got out of the fortress without seeing Aro; I don't know if he ever knew I went to say goodbye and thank him.

I arrived to London at time to prepare myself for school. Esme had already found a house in the outsides of the little town where Edward lived 2 hours away from London. Obviously Alice had already bought me dozens of outfits for school.

"You can't go to high school dressing up like a vampire princess, you're not Volterra's stunning first lady any more." She jiggled, she was so happy of having me back and safe. "You need to become the same girl Edward fell in love with, we have a lot to do." We started laughing, it was getting difficult to Alice to make me look simple and plain.

The next morning, the five of us walked to our new school. We arrived earlier than anyone else; we knew we would create a fuss in a such a small town. Everyone knew by then that the Cullen's siblings had arrived from America and Alice and Jasper were already a big deal to talk about. We were all very nervous, specially me. I couldn't wait any longer to see him.

When the bell rang we all entered to our class rooms, everyone around stared at me, but Edward hadn't appeared yet.

Suddenly, I felt it. A scent I remembered perfectly entered through my nostrils, lavender, lilies and freesias; but it was mixed with something else. Thirst. The most suffocating feeling I ever felt since I was transformed, and Edward hadn't entered the room yet. I didn't dare to stay in that room to find out how he would smell in proximity. I took my bag and got out of there before the class started; I bumped against someone on my way out. It was him, his heart beat was different from any other, what to say about his scent. I didn't dare to look. I needed to get out of there, it was the first time I ever felt the need of killing. I had to talk to someone. This couldn't be happening, the story was repeating but this time it was me lusting for his blood.

I ran to the football field, I needed to inhale fresh air. I sat on the grass and started crying though I had no tears to shed. It was too much, why after waiting for him for so long I had to conquer my thirst for him? I left school and ran to Carlisle's office, he would know how to help me; he helped Edward to be near me when I was a human.


	18. First meeting

Chapter 18 –First Meeting-

Carlisle had started working at a small clinic only two days ago so he wasn't very busy when I arrived to his office. I was shaking when I came in but he didn't seem surprised at all.

"What is it Bella? Are you alright? This can't be true, the very first day at school and you make a visit to the doctor's office just like the old human Bella." Carlisle joked trying to cheer me up. But I didn't answer, I was so desperate I could only whimper.

"His scent Carlisle...., I... I wanted to kill him. I didn't even dare to look at him, can you believe it? All these years of waiting and now.... now I can't bear being close to him. Why?"

Carlisle's reaction surprised me very much, it was as if he was expecting this to happen.

"His blood is so attractive to you because you two are bonded in the most powerful way Bella; beyond feelings, beyond time and beyond life and death. It has always meant to be, you have always meant to be together."

"I know, I can feel it, but why is it so difficult Carlisle? I'd rather go back to lock myself within Volterra's walls to stop me from hurting him. I'm not as strong as he was, I won't be able to conquer my thirst for him." I said whining.

"Bella all these years I've been analyzing the story between you and Edward and I got to a conclusion. You and him are one, as Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett, and surely as many human couples. We are all given paths to walk by and we can decide if we want to or not, you decided to walk through the path that guided you to Edward, you chose. Many others don't have the strength to choose, they just stay there waiting as a feather to be moved by the wind."

"Are you trying to tell me that fate has already a plan prepared for everyone?"

"I am saying that I'm marveled by the power of free will, by the power of our decisions. Edward's will has brought him back to you and yours has made you strong enough to stand."

"I don't understand what you're saying..."

"Bella have you ever asked yourself why you were given the gift of protection? Do you think you got it by random?"

"I guess I've never thought of that."

"Since you discovered your power you've been preparing yourself to protect him, even without being aware of it. Nothing wrong will happen to Edward if you're around him. That's the reason of your gift. Don't you see it? Your blood lust for him was as predictable as his for yours, the difference is that you have the advantage of your gift."

"I got my gift to protect him from myself? Is that what you mean?"

"You received one of the most precious gifts, you can protect the ones you love from anything. Right now you are a transient hazard to Edward, but I bet my life that he will be fine, be confident. You have no idea how strong you've become, you can deal with it. Now, don't lose time, go with him."

When I left Carlisle's office, the gray clouds have disappeared from my head. I had recovered my strength and confidence, I wasn't afraid anymore. All I needed to do was to expose my gift to Edward as I've done many times before with Aro.

I didn't go back to school that day, I preferred to walk and know the place where Edward lived in. His house was empty; Edward's parents haven't arrived from work and he was surely at school so I decided to snoop a little. It wasn't raining as almost two hundred and fifty days a year in that part of England, so I found his window opened. His room was small with white walls, all covered with musician posters. To my surprise, Edward's music collection was even bigger than the one he had in Forks, versatile is the word to describe his musical taste. I found out that he kept enjoying reading, there were dozens of books piled among the room; he was a little untidy I must admit as any other teenager. He had two classic guitars kept neatly in their cases. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a squared black thing over his bed, it was a tape. I took it and without thinking why, I put it inside Edward's high tec stereo. It was my song, my lullaby, it was too wonderful to be true. I had no doubt I was going to manage being near him. I sniffed his pillows in an effort to get used to his scent, it was absolutely addictive.

When I arrived home, all the Cullens were waiting for me. They were starting to get used to my disappearances.

"Gosh Bella, we were starting to think that you preferred the cold walls of Volterra, where were you?" Rosalie asked with disgust.

Alice gave me an "I know where you've been" look, she was smiling thinking about my mischief.

"Did you see him? It's unbelievable, he's exactly the same. I can't wait to play baseball with him again, he has no chance to win this time, I'm stronger and faster than him!" Emmett jiggled. "I can't be happier, I saw him, I saw him!"

"Emmett you didn't dare to say hello to Edward when we introduced you to him." Jasper mocked. "He must think you're a jerk, you couldn't speak at all." We all started laughing. Our happy moods were evident, we were all glowing again.

"So, where were you sis? I thought you would be attached to him like a leech, but I didn't see you near him, not even once." Emmett told me.

"Exactly Emmett, I'm trying not to be one of those blood sucker bugs. I guess I'm preparing for our first meeting." I answered with a smile. Only Carlisle understood what I was talking about.

I spent the whole night smelling one of the pillows I had stolen from Edward's room, with every breath I took I felt the urgent need of going out after him to quench my thirst. Around dawn, the thirst had disappeared; I got used to his intoxicating scent. I was ready for another try.

Next morning I arrived at school earlier than anyone else. No, I was wrong. Someone had decided to get from bed a little earlier too. As I approached to the entrance, I saw a boy sitting on the sidewalk, he was wearing a blue jersey and was listening to his Ipod. I couldn't distinguish his face because he was looking down, moving his feet with anxiety; but when I stepped closer, the boy's scent hit my nostrils again. "I can do it, I can do it." I said to myself. The boy felt my presence and lifted his head.

"Edward." I could hear my own voice coming out from my throat but I never realised of thinking the words. He stood up and stepped forward taking out his earphones.

"Hello." He stammered. He couldn't take his eyes off of me, his heart beat changed its rhythm and he started to breath faster.

In a blink of an eye, time froze and all the memories that were kept in my head invaded my head in a chronological sequence since the day we met at Forks High. This boy was even more beautiful than the image I had of Edward, he was alive. His green eyes were so bright and smart and the blush of his cheeks was unbelievable.

"You are so beautiful." Edward said without knowing I was thinking the exact same thing of him.

We kept staring at each other without talking for some seconds and then we both recovered from the shock. I knew he remembered something when he saw me, his heart beat was telling me so.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know why I just said that; my social skills will get me slapped one of these days." He rushed to say. "I'm Edward Williams." He extended his hand to shake mine. I smiled at him and extended my hand as well.

Electricity. Positive charged ions being attracted to the negative pole. It was even stronger than I thought it would be. Within the few seconds our hand shake lasted, he knew, he felt it too. None of us wanted to release the sensation of our touch.

"I'm Isabella Cullen, but you can call me..."

"Bella." He interrupted. "Your sister Alice has talked to me about you. Welcome to England. Are you enjoying the rain?"

"Are you asking me about the weather?" I asked smiling, I just had to remember the dialogue we held the very first time we spoke to know what he was about to answer.

"I guess I am." He replied saying the words I knew he would.

"You can't imagine how much I'm enjoying the weather right now."

"Good for you, I'm glad you like it in here." He answered with a big smile.

We got inside, minutes went by and little by little the rest of the students started to arrive. Alice wasn't surprised of seeing us chatting on a bench, she already knew it would happen.

"I see you already know each other, I wanted to play cupid! Now I will just be a witness, right Bella? Couldn't you wait for me to introduce my friend Edward to you?"

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked a bit ashamed. Edward was blushing.

"Don't listen to me, let's go." Alice answered but Edward and I didn't move at all. "What? I see you're missing classes again, Carlisle won't like this Bella." Alice's big sister scolding wasn't very convincing so I couldn't help laughing between my teeth.

Edward walked me to my class room. "We don't want Carlisle to be upset with you, do we?" He asked as suggesting a negative answer. "No, we don't, see you later Edward." Fool of me, I could've spent the next hours with him, who cares about Biology? I had to appear normal, otherwise he would've thought I was desperate to make out with him.

"Wait Bella, may I see your schedule? It would be nice to have some classes together." Edward asked while I was making myself inside. I was in heaven, no doubt about it; he wanted to spend time with me.

I clumsily took out a wrinkled paper from my pocket and showed it to him.

"I guess we'll be attending the same French and World History lessons, see you then." He said waving goodbye. I stood by the class room door for a while watching him going away. When I got in, the lesson had already started so everybody stared at me. I was so astounded by the thought of seeing him again that I dropped my books, I heard some laughter.

"Come on Bella, you're acting so human" I said to myself. When I got to my seat and recovered self control I found out I hadn't thought at all about his scent and my lust for his blood. My gift had worked and I was so thank full for having it. I didn't remember being so happy since I was a human.


	19. Spring

Chapter 19 –Spring-

The Biology lesson went by and I didn't even notice what it was about. All I could think of was him and how immensely fortunate I was. I couldn't wait for the bell to ring to see Edward again. Once outside the class room I walked to my next lesson pretending not to be looking for anyone in special.

"Hello, are you needing help? Maybe I can get you a map." I heard from behind. I didn't need to look back, I knew it was him. I took my time to inhale and breath that intoxicating scent, conquering my thirst was such a painful pleasure.

"Hi Edward, it's so good to see you again, I'm not very good at being the "new one"; I was starting to get a little paranoid about everyone staring at me. And yes, I will probably need a map, I've been looking for the language class room for a while and still can't find it."

"We can go together if you don't mind, I'll show you the way. Besides I can use some help too, I suck with French, perhaps you could help me. Alice told me you speak many languages fluently." He said without helping smiling.

"Sure, why not?" I answered. I had to thank Alice for the propaganda she was making of me.

We got to the Language workshop and took our seats. Our teacher was an old retired French publisher who asked us to wear our earphones to begin the lesson; I always pretended being paying attention. After a while, Edward gave me a piece of paper with something written on it.

"Je ne comprendre pas." He wrote. I couldn't help smiling at him. Then, another piece of paper.

"How was Biology?"

"Mmm, not bad." I muttered, or at least I thought I had. I didn't hear my own voice because of the earphones, so I didn't realise I had actually yelled. The teacher turned around with a grown in his face.

"I see you two have a lot to discuss, why don't you do me a favor and abandon the class room so we can continue with the lesson?" The teacher scolded.

In an unexpected movement, Edward grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. We were bursting in laughter when the teacher shut the door behind us.

"What a bad influence you're becoming Miss Cullen, I've never been kicked out from a class before." Edward said sarcastically without releasing my hand.

"Ha, ha, ha, I can ask the teacher to allow us in again if you want me to." I said with irony.

"I'm thinking of a better idea, why don't we go outside so you can tell me how come you speak so many languages. I could use a polyglot friend."

"It's a long story."

"I'm sure I can keep up." He said giving me my favorite smile.

I never thought of having a background story of myself but I couldn't tell him the truth about my life. I decided to change the version of my past a little bit.

"Well, I used to live with my grandfather in Italy, he took care of me my whole life and took me all around the world. We lived in many different cities because of his job."

"Really? So where is he now? What about your parents?" Edward asked with curiosity.

"I never met them, he was my whole family. Carlisle Cullen was his best friend, so he adopted me when my grandpa died."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so nosy. I... I just don't know how to do this, I'm not a very sociable person you know? It's just I feel so comfortable with you, as if we've known each other forever."

"I feel that too, you are a very nice guy, don't be sorry. But now, let's talk about you." I said in an attempt of getting to know him better.

"There's not much to talk about me, I'm definitely boring. All I've ever cared about is music."

"I don't find music boring at all. What do you play?"

"I play the piano and the guitar, but I can play everything basically. It's like a gift I was born with, I learned to play the piano before learning to speak."

"Amazing! It means you're a very receptive person, I would love to hear you play."

"Anytime, it will be my pleasure."

Thereafter, Edward and I became very good friends; we tried to attend to the same lessons at school and in the evenings he invited me to his music lessons. I just sat on a corner bench to listen. He was unbelievably talented. Everyday I did my best for not telling him the truth about us. If I had already waited seventeen years I could wait a little longer for his soul to remember.

Talking to him was like talking to myself in the mirror, it seemed as if he always knew what I was about to say, as if he could actually listen to my thoughts; something that my beloved old Edward couldn't achieve at all. With time, we got more confident about physical contact between us, he had already used to my cold marble skin though it was still hard for me to recover from the warm and pleasant sensation of his touch. Everytime his fingers "unintentionally" touched mine, we could both feel the spark of electricity between us. Sometimes I wished he hadn't been so shy.

Spring went by, he never gave me a hint of suspicion about my true nature; though he always said I was like a supernatural creature, he never seemed to figure out how truthfull his words were. By then, I was completely and irrebocably in love with him, again. The one thing I thought of impossible happened, I loved human Edward even more than the memory of Edward Cullen.

One evening after school, Edward told me he wanted to show me something he had been working in for weeks. In the back yard of his house, there was a shed I hadn't seen the first time I went undercover. Edward used the room as his music studio.

"This is one of the places I feel more comfortable in, here I don't need to pretend being anyone else. And... you are the first person I ever bring inside." He said blushing.

"Wow, thanks for the privilege. Everyone must have a place like this don't you think?" I asked. "I can only recall of one place that makes me feel the same way." I said without thinking, of course I was remembering our meadow.

"Really? I wonder what that place might be." Edward said while he put a CD inside his stereo. "I wish we could have a place for us, only you and me." He shyly said staring at me. When I was about to answer, he surprised me with a question.

"Bella may I ask something personal? Don't answer if you don't want to."

"Go ahead." I said

"I was wondering about the ring you wear in your left hand, does it mean something?"

"What?" I hadn't realised I was still wearing my ring, his ring. "Oh, someone I loved very much got it for me, but he died before he could give it to me." I answered sighing. He gave me a strange look, he was perplexed, disappointed and…jealous.

"Sorry for asking, I had no idea, please forgive me." He explained without hiding a saddened look. I knew he was embarrassed of asking but at the same time he wanted more information about the "other one", so I opened my mouth to make clear there was no other, when suddenly one of his long pianist fingers shut my lips closed. "Don't speak, just listen."

My lullaby again, in a new version. Edward had recorded the melody in the piano, but had added violin and guitar arrangements that produced an incredible fusion of sounds.

"This melody has guided me to you, I would've never met Alice and Jasper if it wasn't for it, and therefore I wouldn't have met you. It makes me feel the same way you do."

"Maybe Alice wouldn't have found you, but I'm certain that you and I were always meant to meet."

We slowly stepped forward closer from each other, he took my hands and then gave another step closer. Carefully, he approached his nose to my nose, his upper lip slowly met mine and I responded maybe too quick to his accelerated heart beat which was singing to me. I squeezed my arms tight around him after seventeen years of waiting. Our souls recognized each other, there was no doubt, impossible things can happen.


	20. Second thoughts

**Hi, I decided to add some more details to the story, please let me know if you hate the changes. Thanks for reading. =)**

Chapter 20 –Second thoughts-

I couldn't be happier, in fact, I had never been so happy in my whole life. Sometimes I even forgot I was a vampire and Edward a fragile human, he made me feel like a teenager again. But it didn't last long. Our love was so innocent and naive, but at the same time I always had the poisonous feeling of not being honest; I never lied about how I felt about him but I knew things he didn't. I pictured myself as a spider spinning my web around him, he was my prey.

After several months of hanging out together and being inseparable, I started to feel sort of pressure from my family; they thought it was time to take Edward to the Cullen's household to meet them all. Esme and Carlisle had been waiting patiently for the right time to come, though they were dying for having him closer since the day we arrived to England. Rosalie and Emmett thought it was time for Edward to know the truth.

I remember so well the night when everything changed. It was the best of my life.

Edward and I planned a trip to Portsmouth for his eighteenth birthday, he borrowed his dad's car so we could go sailing; another of his abilities I soon discovered. The weekend had been perfect; after sailing, we went to the Royal Naval Museum, to the South sea Castle and had long walks under the rain. I was a little nervous about spending the night with him; Edward suggested to put a tent on the beach to see the stars, I was actually thinking of something else, my womanly instincts had been sleeping for a very long while, but I accepted immediately. After all my sleepless nights I had learned the names of every constellation above, Aro had taught me the Greek mythology behind them. We made a fire outside the tent and we laid on the sand. I put my head over Edward's chest where I could hear the amazing rhythm of his heart while he messed up with my hair. I had found a new meadow for us.

"That one over there is the constellation Orion or The Great Hunter, Orion stands by the river Eridanus and is accompanied by his faithful dogs, Canis Major and Canis Minor. Together they hunt various celestial animals, including Lepus, the rabbit, and Taurus, the bull. According to Greek mythology, Orion was in love with Merope, one of the Seven Sisters who form the Pleiades, but Merope would have nothing to do with him. Orion's tragic life ended when he stepped on Scorpius, the scorpion. The gods felt sorry for him, so they put him and his dogs in the sky as constellations. They also put all of the animals he hunted up there near him. Scorpius, however, was placed on the opposite side of the sky so Orion would never be hurt by it again."

"I would be Orion if you were Merope." He stammered, he didn't want to sound corny but he couldn't help blushing. "I wouldn't care to be a lonely star if only I could watch you from above eternally, I want to be your guardian angel."

"You are so sweet." I answered looking directly to those green bright eyes. That fragile beautiful human wanted to protect me, an undestroyable creature. He didn't realise it was the other way around.

"I truly mean it. You are my life now, I don't care about anything else but you. I feel very protective of you, and I... I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

"Then don't." I said while caressing gently his cheek with my cold fingers. "Edward, what if we were eternal, both of us, like Orion and Merope, what if we could be together forever?"

"I would rather spend a long happy life with you, get married, have children, grandchildren and grow old together; how about that? Can you imagine it? We would have beautiful children, don't you think? I could be a famous musician and you would be my muse." He answered excitedly, his green eyes glowed with the sparkle of the fire. Mine, in change, were dull in sadness. He kept talking about his life dreams with me but I wasn't listening any more, I felt an indescribable pain for I could not make his dreams come true. Edward noticed my misery so he stopped talking and lifted my chin with his hand.

"Did I say something wrong? Am I going too fast? I am sorry Bella, I didn't want to upset you, we are very young, I shouldn't be talking about this stuff."

"You didn't say anything wrong, I would love spending a long happy life with you, more than you can imagine. It's just, I'm afraid of losing you... what if I can't give you what you want?"

"You are what I want, it doesn't matter if things don't end up as we've planned. All I want is you, no matter what. Bella don't you see it? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, I would give up everything for you."

Edward closed his eyes and approached his lips to mine, I could feel the warm heat of his breath. I kissed him desperately, as never before, but it was not passion guiding my kiss, it was the fear of losing him. We laid again over our sleeping bags, Edward felt asleep hugging me tight. My mind was ill at ease while I heard the calmed compass of his breath. "I can't do this to him." I kept saying to myself. Suddenly, he started breathing faster, he was having a nightmare.

On our way back, he didn't speak quite much, he was acting strange.

"Is anything wrong Edward?" I asked him. I've never seen him so serious before.

"No, I'm just very focused on the road, I don't like it when it rains like this." He answered. I didn't believe him.

"Ok." I said as I laid my head on his shoulder.

After a while, I noticed he was trying to tell me something but he didn't find the words, he was muttering something without being aware I could hear him.

"I dreamt of you..., last night." He suddenly said after finding the courage.

"Really? Was it a good dream?" I asked a little worried.

"Actually no, it was a nightmare and I was afraid."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I inquired. I started suspecting something was going on.

"This is not the first time I dream of you and your family, I never paid so much attention to the dreams, but this time it was different, so vivid. I saw myself pale as a corpse, I was lost in a rainy place I don't recall being before, I know its name but I can't remember it. I was unbelievably thirsty, like never before and I could run really fast." He said shrugging his shoulders. "I was looking for you, over and over. I could hear Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett, they were screaming my name as if they were looking for me too but I couldn't see them. I could hear you too, you were crying so desperately, when I finally saw you, you had red bright eyes." He said after a deep sigh.

I was shocked. He was remembering. I started laughing.

"No Bella, you're not understanding, I was afraid of you."

"Come on Edward, do you really think I could hurt you?" The conversation was starting to make me nervous.

"Don't misunderstand me Bella, I... I guess you're right, dreams don't mean anything." He said and then kissed me on the forehead.

"Let's talk about this please, you didn't answer my question, do you really think I'm capable of hurting you?" I lifted my head to look him to the eyes.

"In my dream I wanted to find you to comfort you, but when I did, my first feeling was fear, you were a mysterious frightening creature and I wanted to escape from you."

"What exact kind of creature?"

"I don't know, let's change the subject ok? Forget everything about it alright?" He tuned up the radio and we both kept silence the rest of the trip.

Edward dropped me home around 9 pm, we kissed goodbye but there was something different; we both felt something had changed. On my way up, I found Emmett who was coming out from his room. "Hi Bella, how was your first night with Eddy? I bet you left him tired as if he had struggled against a bear." He mocked with I smile. I got to my room without answering shutting the door in front of Emmett's nose. When I turned around I found Rosalie and Alice whispering, they were talking about me.

"Hi Bella, how was your trip to the sea?" Alice asked nervously trying to appear that they were not having a conversation in my back.

"He is starting to remember." I said plainly.

"Wow! That's great! We all knew he would. But why do you seem so sad? Did you have a fight?" Alice asked again.

"As if you didn't know! He... Edward is afraid of me." I answered with a shaky voice while I laid on my bed with my head over Alice's lap, she started to play with my hair.

"He belongs with us Bella, what are you waiting for?" Rosalie asked.

"What do you mean?" I replied sort of confused. I raised my head quickly and sat in front of them, I couldn't believe my own sister was suggesting me to turn Edward right away.

"Who cares if he's afraid? I would be too if I knew I am surrounded by a coven of vampires who can't wait to transform me into one, but that's his destiny Bella, you know it. You two are meant to be together."

"In fact Bella, before you arrived, Rose and I were talking about it. We think you shouldn't wait any longer to make him one of us. Don't be mad at me, but I think you're being a little selfish; we all love him very much and we won't be able to be near him unless you bring him to the family again, forever."

"Are you thinking of _Hi Edward, I'm a vampire, you were one too, do you want to become one again_?" Rosalie said with irony mimicking my voice.

"What have you two become, Volturi's messengers? I love him very much, I'm sure you have no idea how much...." I started to shake with anger. "I don't know if I want him to change... he is so beautiful the way he is now, he has so many dreams about his future and he is so... alive. Making his well being my priority doesn't make me selfish at all!"

"Don't do this Bella, we haven't gone this far for nothing! Are you planning to let him get older while you keep a teenager look over the years? Do you pretend to play the role of daddy and daughter? It doesn't make any sense!" Rosalie shouted completely pissed off.

"I don't know, please don't put so much pressure on me. I want him to be happy, I was thinking of waiting a little longer, there's no need to hurry, he's still very young..."

"You're missing one thing sister, he is remembering. What will you do when he finds out that you haven't been truly honest with him, what will you say when he discovers that everything has been a charade to bring him in? Do you think he'll forgive you?" Rosalie inquired passionately.

Alice remained silent, she just moved her head from Rose to me waiting her chance to speak.

"I guess in that case I'd rather run away and leave him alone before he knows the truth. I love him so much that I prefer to live eternity alone than hurting him in any way. He is alive, he's back, that's all that matters to me." I said after making up my mind. "Carlisle said that we all have to make the decisions that would guide our path, Edward deserves that right, and... he wants to have a long happy life with kids and stuff…" My sisters shared a painful look, they obviously knew that was something I couldn't give to him.

"You're right Bella, let's not make hurried decisions. Take your time, I'm sure you'll know what to do." Alice told me.

Rosalie stepped outside the room and shut the door behind her so hard that I thought the windows would break, knowing I was right about that, she knew better than no one else what it is to long the lost humanity. Alice took my hand and gave me a compassionate look.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you, don't worry, the right time will come and you'll know what's the best for all of us. Don't worry about Rose, she has a mess in her head, she wants a second chance for herself too."

That night, a fear that I hadn't felt before invaded me. What if Edward found out the truth and he didn't like it? What if he thought I had prepared everything to set him up? What if he was so afraid of me that he decided to grow apart? What if I decided to let him live... without me?


	21. Truth

Chapter 21 –Truth-

My mind was a turmoil, all I thought about was him and our future. Who was I to decide? Fate had been so compassionate by giving us another chance, how could I possibly think of wasting it? How could I possibly think of wasting Edward's life? Maybe I was wrong, it wasn't a second chance for both of us, it was only his, to achieve in life what he had always wanted since he was born as Edward Anthony Masen. Who was I to take it away from him, again? Ever since the tragedy when I became a vampire, I swore I would sacrifice my own life if that could bring him back, now I have him I'm wanting more, I'm not sacrificing anything. Love is one of the most selfish feelings, or not? When I asked myself that question, the answer came so clear as if it had always been in front of me. I was acting like Aro. Edward had to know the truth and he had the right to decide, it would be his choice. Love is not selfish.

All the members of the family were nervous about my decision because it would affect them all, the tension became more evident since the little fight I held with Rosalie when I told her I would rather leave than making Edward unhappy, she wished she had had that choice.

Jasper and Emmett had asked Edward to teach them to play the guitar just to be closer to him. That gave me time to talk to Alice, in private. She hadn't used her powers with us since we rejoined and though we respected her decision, we never dared to ask her anything about our future. This time I needed a little help, I needed to know to prepare myself. She was cutting flowers in the back garden when I came to her.

"Hey! What's up?" I asked. She didn't turn around.

"I'm not telling you Bella, this has to be your decision and you must not be influenced by anyone else. I'm not using my powers with you ever again, not even once." She obviously knew what I was about to ask.

"The truth is, that I've already decided as you surely know by now. I just need to know what to expect Alice. I give you my word, I'll accept his choice no matter what is."

"He knows." Alice said in a very low tone, this time she stood up and turned around to face me.

"What are you talking about? He knows what?" I was afraid, how could I've possibly missed that point?

"Do you remember that Edward once told you he had dreamt of us many times but had paid no attention to his dreams?" I nodded. "Well, he lied; he confessed to me a couple of months ago that he has been dreaming of us even before we arrived to England and has recently made the connection. I guess we all underestimated him."

"But what exactly does he know? Please Alice!"

"Don't be afraid, he hasn't gone anywhere, has he? He is starting to believe in life after life Bella, he knows you and him belong to each other since the very first time he saw you. He told me that he goes to sleep every night wishing to see you in his dreams since he was a little boy but then he didn't know you really existed. What ironic don't you think?"

"You're not helping a bit Alice. Where's the irony?"

"He has being waiting for you all his life and he never told you that he knew your face and your voice and your smell even before meeting you. And here you are blaming yourself for being dishonest. Everyone's got something to hide, don't you think?"

"What? If what you're saying is true, why was he so scared the last time he dreamt of me? He doesn't know the rest of the story, does he? He doesn't even imagine we're different species, right? What did you tell him?" I kept bombing Alice with questions.

"I told him everything is possible and that he should keep his mind opened, that's it. I'm not the one who should open his eyes Bella. He's not afraid of you, he's scared of being different from you, of not being enough for you."

"How is that possible? He is everything for me!"

"Exactly, that's why you should stop treating him like a child, I'm sure he can handle it. Bella, he'll find out soon."

Alice picked up the flowers she had cut and got inside the house leaving me alone, it started raining without any warning. I stood there under the rain for I don't know how long, I was feeling sort of deceived for Edward's distrust, he told his secret to Alice, not me. I only had two options left at that point, telling him the truth or running away.

Three or four hours later, after I had made myself dry, the boys arrived from their music lesson but they weren't alone. They had brought Edward to our place for the first time and everyone inside the house knew he was near before he stepped in, his scent was something else. Carlisle and Esme ran downstairs, they couldn't believe they would finally see him. Alice, Rosalie and I followed some seconds later. The boys got down from Emmett's Jeep, Edward was walking behind them, he seemed shy and nervous. I was nervous too, I hadn't asked him yet to meet my foster parents and there he was, being dragged to the house by my beloved brothers, so thoughtful of them of course. I rushed to open the front door, Jasper and Emmett stepped aside to let Edward in.

"Hi Edward, I didn't know you were coming, I..." I said as I opened the door.

"I'm sorry, I can leave if you want me to. Your brothers asked me to come, there's a football match tonight and..."

"You don't like football Edward."

"I know, I wanted to be with you, good shot right? Besides, you've never asked me to come and we've already been dating for a while, I want to meet your parents. But please, let me know if you want me to leave."

"Don't leave, I'm sorry, you're so welcome." I whispered to his ear though I knew everyone had listened to our little private conversation.

"Edward, this is Esme, my mother in every mean." I introduced.

"Welcome Edward, I was dying to meet you, I've heard very good things about you, Bella says you are a very talented musician, you can come every time you want to play the piano, no one has used it in a while. This is your house, truly." Esme said with a big smile and then squeezed him in a tight hug, I could see Edward blushing over and over.

Carlisle was standing still behind Esme, he hadn't moved an inch waiting for his turn, I guess he was fantasizing about the feeling of shaking hands again. After being released by Esme, Edward turned around slowly, he extended his hand to Carlisle before raising his sight, but when their eyes met, time froze. Edward's eyes were suddenly filled with tears and in an impulsive movement he stretched his arms around Carlisle who was very moved as well. We all stood there watching amazed their embrace, Edward had recognized Carlisle. Some minutes later, Edward abruptly stepped aside.

"What is going on? I'm sorry, please excuse me." Edward said before abandoning the house in a hurry, he was still crying.

"Edward wait!" I shouted. Alice stopped me from following him. "Leave him alone."

"What has just happened Carlisle? What was everything about?" Emmett inquired.

"I... I don't know, for some seconds, everything around me disappeared and I... I could look so deep into his eyes, I... I saw his soul and he must have seen mine." Carlisle answered, he was evidently more amazed than we were. "It is too much for him."

"What now?" I asked.

"We will have to wait. He has to decide if he wants to live a life of his own or retake the life he left." Alice answered.

Thereafter, Edward stopped attending school and his music lessons, he didn't answer my phone calls either. I walked to his home but anyone opened, his parents were always away for work, so it didn't surprise me. He had disappeared. Day after day I went to school hoping to find him sitting on the sidewalk with his blue jersey, but nothing happened. My phone didn't ring at all for two long weeks, three hundred and thirty six hours of agony. There was no doubt that he already knew the truth about the Cullen family, I was starting to think that he had escaped from us. At the beginning of the third week, I received a phone call, it was Heidi Sevigny from Volterra.


	22. Edward

Chapter 22 –Edward-

Bella,

_You_ don't know for how long I've waited for _you_.

As far as I can remember, I've dreamt of _you_ since I was around six or seven years old. I drew all these pictures of your angelic face, wondering who _you_ were and why _you_ appeared every time I closed my eyes. Whenever _you_ visited me during my sleep _you_ were like an angel who always hummed the same melody, it was like being in heaven. Your chocolate eyes were so expressive that I always knew for sure _you_ were there to protect me, nothing could go wrong if _you_ were with me at night.

Throughout the years I became a loner, a day dreamer; no one I knew could resemble to _you_, trying was not worthy. The dreams where more frequent with time, I was worried about being obsessed with a non existing face, a fantasy. I never talked about _you_ with anyone, people would've thought I was a lunatic, _you_ were my dearest secret. Music has been my passion, the only way of not feeling eccentric.

Almost a year ago, my dreams came true. I was playing your melody in the piano, feeling the notes vibrating in every nervous fiber of my body. I was wishing _you_ could hear your song when someone else did. Alice. I sensed her stare immediately, her pixie face was so familiar to me, she was calling me without speaking. Words are not enough to describe the expression of her face, joy, surprise and pain. I don't know why I felt the need of going after her but she disappeared before I could stop her. I guess I knew she would guide me to _you_.

Ever since I met Alice and Jasper, my dreams changed, they were like a preamble for what was about to happen. One night, when I surrendered to sleep, _you_ appeared so close I could almost touch _you_, how I longed to feel your skin; and for the first time ever I heard your voice "Edward". The amazing sensation of hearing my name from your lips woke me up and instantly I knew my life would change. For some reason I don't know, I dressed up and walked to school; it was still cold and dark when I got there and I was melting in anxiety. Waiting.

"Edward" _you_ said. I felt a bolt of electricity running through my whole body, my hands were sweating and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would escape from my chest. For an instant I thought I was still dreaming; at first I refused to turn my face to the source of that voice, it surely belonged to someone else and there was no room for disappointment, not that day. But that sweet velvet voice was the same I'd heard at night, so I raised my sight and right in front of me stood the Venus of my dreams. My eyes covered every pore of your white skin, and for Heaven's sake, none of my memories did justice to the real _you_. The only thing I missed from the angel of my dreams was the color of her eyes.

"You're so beautiful" was all I could mumble, thinking what a perfect creature you were. A real perfect creature. What have I done to be so blessed? And then, just to make the moment the most wonderful experience, _you_ slowly extended your hand to me and even before our skins brushed I felt the electrical connection between us. Your name invaded my mind before _you_introduced yourself. I understood my dreams did mean something, they were a premonition of us, they could only represent one thing, we were destined to be together. I was born to love _you_ and I swear nothing in this life matters more to me than _you_ do. Is it possible _you_ feel the same way about me? Is it possible _you_ feel the strength of our bond too?

I've always been a dreamer but at the same time realistic enough not to believe in the supernatural. Until I met _you_, until I knew you're real. Our encounter has been such a mystic experience beyond fantasy and reality. Do _you_think it's possible we could've met in a past life? Have _you_ ever thought of it? No, of course not, I've never been brave enough to tell _you_ my guessing. Sometimes I have the feeling of being so different, your pale white and ice cold skin and the color of your eyes are a mystery to me. What a beautiful enigmatic creature _you _are. No doubt everything around us is supernatural.

The time we've shared together has been the best of my life but I must confess something has changed. How could I ever want to dream again if _you_ belong to the real world? I guess that the Bella of my dreams is jealous of _you_because her red thirsty eyes started to hunt me every night, the sweet dreams turned into nightmares that are so terrifying I am afraid of falling asleep. Am I insane or are _you_ trying to tell me something? Sometimes I wonder about my sanity. One thing I know for sure, I would give up my life, my mind and my senses for _you_. I am so in love with_ you_, it scares me. I can't even describe with words what I feel when _you_ touch me, a mixture of insane desire for exploring your bare skin with the biggest respect and overwhelming admiration I am able to feel.

Alice has become a real friend to me and has noticed my worries. It was as if she knew what was bothering me because she understood perfectly when I told her about the nightmares.

"I know what you mean." She said. "I feel the same way about Jasper, as if we've been together for a hundred years. You shouldn't worry about it, some souls are bonded together and there's nothing to be afraid of; perhaps I shouldn't be telling you this, I guess by now you've learned to keep your mind opened."

Her words sounded as if she was trying to tell me something, "to keep my mind opened". I sometimes feel I need some time to myself to understand what's going on with me, with us, but I don't have the strength to stay away from _you_, I'm scared of finding out everything has been a dream. I don't want to miss a single sec…


	23. Heidi

Chapter 23 -Heidi-

My "eighteenth birthday" was two days ahead, the first week of September had already gone and I still had no news about him. Edward's encounter with Carlisle did the change, my family is pretty sure that he knows _everything,_he finally remembered the whole story of his past life. Carlisle himself can't recover yet from the experience of having watched Edward's soul through his eyes, I am sure he saw "the other side", in other words, he saw the place where Edward went after he left us at the meadow; Carlisle knows there's a place to go after death. The whole family convinced me to stop worrying, I had to give Edward time; they promised that he would be back. They were right, I couldn't go chasing him. I promised Alice I would accept his decision no matter what, he had to come back by himself, otherwise I would have to let him go.

One morning, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?" Nothing but silence. "Who is this? Edward is that you?" After some seconds a voice that I surely remembered spoke.

"Bella? Bella, I'm Heidi. I need to talk to you right away." Her voice sounded agitated and worried, but she was whispering as if she feared to be heard.

"Heidi! How are you? What… are you alright? Calm down, you're scaring me. Where are you?"

"We have no time Bella, I need to see you; I lost him the track."

"Whose track? What are you talking about?" I was utterly worried by then, what could this call mean? "Where are you?"

"I'm in London Bella, Edward is gone, I can't find him, we need to talk now!" Her words were determined.

"What are you doing here? How do you know he's gone?"

"Meet me at the Thirst Bar at 53 Greek Street in Soho in an hour, hurry up!" Heidi hang up the phone after scheduling our appointment.

"Wait…" I shouted but it was too late. My mind gave a twirl, what was all this about? I had no time to inform the Cullens about Heidi's call, I took Emmett's jeep and drove as fast as I could to the west end of London.

On my way to the center of the city I was thinking of all the possibilities, the one which made more sense to me was that Aro could've changed his mind and decided to eliminate Edward. Only the thought of that made me furious, I would destroy anyone who dared to hurt him, no matter if I had to kill my mentor and the whole Volturi coven.

When I arrived to the pub I didn't have to look for her, I could smell Heidi's scent and let it guide my steps. She was sitting in a corner table waiting anxiously, tapping her hands on the table. She smelled me too and her eyes opened widely looking for my face. There was no time for greetings, I sat in front of her waiting for her to speak.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Sorry Bella, I know you don't like public places but it's safer this way. I have important things to tell you." Heidi answered in a very low tone.

A young waiter approached to take our orders staring astonished at the two beauties sitting in front of him; as soon as he came nearer he sensed danger. Heidi's hypnotic power forced him to leave. I haven't noticed her dark black eyes, she hadn't gone hunting in a while.

"I'm all ears, tell me where Edward is, now!"

"I don't know, that's why I'm here for." Heidi answered concerned.

"Explain yourself Heidi! What is going on? I'm not understanding anything!"

"Let me begin from the start, and promise me you won't interrupt me, as soon as I tell you everything we have to move fast. Promise me Bella!" She ordered, her hypnotic power didn't work with me. I nodded.

"Do you remember the last time we saw each other at Volterra about six months ago? You went looking for Aro but he wasn't there to receive you."

"Go on." I said letting her know I was keeping up.

"When Caius and Marcus knew that Aro left you at Seattle looking for Edward to kill him, they sent Dimitri and Felix to stop him, it wasn't necessary though; Aro truly believed in second chances and he thought you and Edward deserved one so he flew to Italy instead. Aro was absolutely broken hearted, he wouldn't hurt Edward because that meant to hurt you too so he let him live for you. His brothers were already waiting for him, to lock him down in the dungeons."

"What? Why? How on Earth…"

"Shh, you promised Bella." I nodded nervously once more. I remained silent to let her continue.

"As you know, Marcus and Caius were afraid of losing their brother because of you, they feared Aro could leave them to create another coven; they knew Aro was more powerful and had more control over the vampires of the court, so taking advantage from his absence, they decided to lock him in. Perhaps ambition, insecurity or just malice, but they took Aro to the dungeons "to prevent him from breaking their own rules" as they said. Aro didn't fight back, he wasn't sure his brothers were right about one thing, he didn't know if he was strong enough to live without you, he was worried that one day he could hunt Edward and take you back to the fortress. For your sake, he allowed his brothers to drag him to the moats."

There was a resentful tone in Heidi's voice as she spoke, she wasn't aware I could feel it. I felt a terrible guilt and I let it devour me, the truth is that I hadn't thought of Aro in six months, not even once, despite I knew what he felt for me. He had spent the last six months locked in a dark prison because of me. I wanted to cry, I started sobbing, how could I've been so selfish?

"Why didn't you tell me all this before, I could've …"

"You could've done what Bella? Leave Edward and return to Volterra with Aro? We both know you wouldn't have. Now save your remorse and allow me to continue, or you're lose Edward too."

"Why are you talking to me like that?, I thought we were friends…" I whimpered.

"If I weren't your friend I wouldn't be here. Now, shut up!" Heidi's black eyes were so fiery I thought for one second she wouldn't restrain herself from killing me. "She hasn't eaten in a while, that's why she talks to me like this." I said to myself.

"Aro summoned me to his prison cell, he wanted to talk to me without anyone knowing. He was sure that Caius and Marcus would send Jane or Alec to hunt you in case you broke the rules, so he sent me here to protect you. "Both changed or both death" they said. Of course I knew Jane wouldn't miss any chance to hurt you or Edward so I agreed, and I've been around since March, watching."

"Heidi I… I can't believe what I´m hearing. How did I never notice? Why didn't Alice see you coming?"

"Have you forgotten you're a vampire? A vampire with a very special gift? That boy really turns you mad, doesn't he?" She answered ironically. "Your protective gift Bella. You involve Edward with it, so no vampire can reach him while you're near, not even Alice's premonitions; he's immune to every power a vampire could have while you're around. Alice has never known anything of Edward's future because of you. That's why she doesn't know there's someone else watching… Jane has been around these past months too, waiting for you to make a mistake. She knows that only changing Edward into one of us would make you less of a threaten, they all think you would leave with him and never come back; the other option is to kill you both and end with the menace."

"Are you suggesting Jane might have taken Edward?" I asked with complete fear and anger, I could feel the venom in my throat, preparing to tear Jane's head apart. "How could I be a menace to them? I don't want to create a new coven with anyone else but Edward!"

Heidi rolled her eyes ignoring my last comment.

"I don't know. When Edward ran out from your house two weeks ago, he drove to Portsmouth and I followed him there. He seemed really confused, but who can blame him right? He spent the nights walking on the beach talking to himself. Two days ago, I lost his track. There was no trace of his scent or Jane's. By the way, I found this letter in Edward's car, it has your name on it."

"We need to go to Volterra! Now! What are we waiting for?" I demanded after snatching the letter from her hands.

"He's not there, I've already talked to Dimitri and they have no news about Jane or Edward. Aro is worried, he doesn't want you to miss your second chance. He is absolutely in love with you."

This time Heidi's tone became bitter and I understood what was going on with my friend.

"You are in love with Aro, aren't you?"

"You think you know me so well, don't you?" Heidi asked angrily as she grabbed my arm to drag me out from the pub. "There's no time for this, we need to do something right now if you don't want to lose Edward once more. We are being observed right now, Alec replaced his sister on her duties."

We got into Emmett's Jeep and I let her drive. "Where are we going?" I asked with a defeated look while my sight kept looking down. I had surrendered to desolation, Edward was in danger because of my stubbornness of having him back, why didn't I just let him live the long happy life he desired?

"Bella wake up! I need you with me, think!" Heidi ordered to me, she was still mad at me for finding out her secret. "Who else could want Edward to disappear from your life, who hates you so much who could do this to you? I am sure Jane's not acting alone…" Heidi bite her lower lip as she always did when she was nervous. Her hands were strongly attached to the steering wheel while her foot stepped furiously hard on the pedal.

I examined in my head the names and the faces of the many vampires at Volterra who were strong enough to defeat Marcus and Caius' orders. They had sent Jane to spy on my steps, she could not hurt us unless I discovered my nature to Edward and let him live as a human who knew too much, and last time I checked, I hadn't admitted anything yet.

Aro was my first suspect, but I would be lying to myself, he wouldn't do this. Next was Alec, Jane's twin, of course he would support his sister, but he was following us in the car behind us as Heidi had acknowledged. Felix? Dimitri? Irina? No, no, no… having Edward killed wasn't convenient to them, that opened the possibility of me returning defeated to the coven and that would upset Caius and Marcus so much they would surely not live any longer to suffer their punishment. There had to be someone else who didn't want me around Edward, but who could it be?

"Talk to me Bella! Say something!" Heidi shouted.

"I'm thinking ok?" I answered angrily.

"This isn't working, think harder! We need to go to your sister, she must have seen something."

"Alice won't use her powers with us, she swore she wouldn't peer into our future ever again." I answered disappointed.

"Even if one of you is in danger?" Heidi measured her words before asking.

"Heidi I swear to you that if Edward comes out of this harmless I will never see him again, I'll do whatever it takes to make him safe." I said sobbing.

"I know you will Bella." Heidi told me easing her tone, she couldn't be mad at me anymore. "Now we need to talk to your family."

I remained silent pondering for a long while.

"Heidi is it possible you were distracted for one second back there in Portsmouth?" I inquired before the Jeep halted at a red light.

"What do you mean? Like distracted enough for not seeing someone else approaching? You're offending me with your suspicion Bella." She reassured, but I could see doubt in her eyes. "Well, maybe, I can't be sure, I wanted to give the boy some privacy you know? He was talking out loud all the time… but it's impossible I hadn't smelled any stranger." She finally admitted. But what if it wasn't a stranger?

We slowly approached to the entrance of the Cullen's porch, I could see the family watching us with curiosity through the upper floor window. Alice hadn't used her power at all.

"We will do this Bella, trust me, everything will turn out well." Heidi said staring directly to my eyes.


	24. Betrayal

Chapter 24 –Betrayal-

I was devastated. What was I thinking? Rosalie had been right. I couldn't fool myself any longer. No matter how much I wanted to have a normal life with him, it was impossible. It had to be white or black, not gray. But I had been a coward, I was neither strong nor selfish enough to change him earlier and I left him as a fragile vulnerable human all alone to Jane's mercy. Even if he came back I knew I wouldn't be capable of changing him, so what was left for me? I had to find him, make him safe and then leave. I remembered a passage from my human life when Edward Cullen abandoned me and I truly believed he didn't love me; it must have been the most difficult thing for him to do as it is for me now. I understand his reasons; our worlds can't collide without killing one of us. We can't love each other freely if we exist in parallel universes, no matter how many lives we live trying to make it happen.

My family knew something had happened by the look of surrender in my face. Heidi's presence wasn't a good omen either. Esme came out from the house and squeezed me in her arms.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked referring to Heidi with her high pitched voice. "I… I mean, not that you're not welcome but I guess anything good has brought you here."

"You don't know?" Heidi asked back; she was completely sure that Alice knew Edward's whereabouts.

Alice's expression of doubt was unmistakable, she didn't have a clue about the reason why we hadn't received any news from Edward.

"Sorry, I don't do that anymore." Alice answered when she understood the meaning of Heidi's question. I could see she was restraining herself from using her ability; guilt and remorse had taken over her.

"I guess this time you should make an exception if you want to see Edward again. I believe Jane may be involved in his disappearance." Heidi said.

"You owe me this Alice, it was you who told me I should wait for him to come back! And now, he's gone…." I shouted.

"Please explain yourself." Carlisle suggested.

"Heidi has been sent by Aro to watch Jane, to stop her from hurting us in case we openly revealed the truth to Edward. Jane of course, was sent by Caius and Marcus and now there's no trace of neither of them. Heidi lost them." I summarized.

"If that blonde dares to touch my brother I will kill her with my own hands!" Emmett roared.

Meanwhile, Alice was having an internal battle with herself. She didn't want to be wrong about our future again, but at least she could try…

"Wait, Edward is alright." Alice whispered.

"Wha…. How do you know?" Jasper asked. I knew he wasn't very happy about Alice using her powers; he didn't want to see the guilt and remorse in her eyes again if she was wrong this time.

"Where's Rosalie?" Alice asked with her eyes shut. We all turned to see Emmett waiting for an answer.

"Don't look at me, how would I know? Jasper and I just arrived from hunting. It was Rosalie who suggested we should go to…." Emmett stopped talking when he understood they had been tricked by the beautiful Rosalie Hale. "What might she be thinking? Don't look at me that way; she must have had a very powerful reason to take Edward like that without telling anyone. I'm sure she means him no harm." Emmett said when we all turned at him with defiant looks.

We all started arguing, shouting to each other; even Carlisle who always kept his good temper was involved in the quarrel. Alice remained sitting in silence with her hands covering her face.

"Stop right now!" Alice suddenly ordered. We all looked bewildered at her. "They're coming." She added. In that very moment a convertible red car was parking in front of the house. I could see through the window the copper blond color of Edward's messy hair and I felt something moved inside my chest, -my dead heart. We all ran outside to the porch in thunder speed.

Rosalie stood beside the car without talking or moving. Edward was standing there as well. Both of them were wearing sunglasses so we couldn't figure out their expression. I was scared though I had no idea what had happened with Edward those days; I didn't know what to expect so I didn't move either. It was Emmett who spoke first.

"Why love?" He inquired. I guess Emmett always knew that Rosalie wasn't comfortable about how things were carrying out, but he never believed she was capable of meddling in someone else's issues.

Rosalie took her glasses off and slowly she turned her eyes to face me. "I am sorry Bella, I had to show him."

"Sh… show him what?" I asked without taking my eyes off him. My voice sounded hesitant and shaky. Why wasn't Edward moving, why didn't he talk to me?

"He needed to know all the things he'd miss if he chooses you. He had to know, I am sorry."

Her words were to my ears like a wooden stab to my heart. I was hopelessly furious, I felt a violent need to hurt her. We had agreed that no one would influence Edward's decision and there she was telling him how much he would suffer if he chose this life with me. I should've known better. Rosalie wanted to give Edward the choice she didn't have and she wanted him to choose knowing the pros and cons of both ways.

"Fair enough." An angelic childish voice said from the back.

We all turned around to find out that Jane was standing right behind us, watching as always from the shadows.

"I would be very happy to wait for Edward's answer but unfortunately there's no time left. Come on, we need to go now." Jane added smiling before starting to approach to Edward. Heidi was the first to step into her way.

"What do you think you're doing? You're not taking him anywhere!" Heidi shouted using her hypnotic power. But Jane wasn't giving up and with a slight movement of her hand, Heidi was sent ten feet away contorting in pain.

"What are you doing? What's going on in here?" Carlisle asked her trying to ease the tension.

I had been taken by surprise so I didn't have enough time to spread my protective gift around Heidi, but now it was on and I walked directly to Edward. He was paralyzed under my shield. He had already taken off his sunglasses and I could see the expression in his face. He was scared but there was no doubt in his eyes, he had made a decision. We stood there staring at each other for an instant speaking without words. Our souls were communicating; he had chosen me. But Jane was right, there was no time for explanations; something very wrong was happening. Alice wasn't speaking; she just stood at the front door of the house with her eyes in blank. Jasper stood by her every second looking as worried as I've never seen him before.

"Bella you should stop that, when Caius and Marcus arrive you will have to restrain yourself from using your power." Jane said with delight.

"But what have we done?" Esme asked.

"Ask the blonde." She answered referring to Rose. "She just explained a human boy everything about us. Now they must die. You all know they must." Jane spoke slowly as if trying to explain something to little children. She was enjoying the moment.

Rosalie kept murmuring to herself "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen." She was so ashamed of herself that she couldn't do anything to help us against Jane.

"You know we won't allow that, you will have to kill us all!" Emmett shouted. He ran as fast as light and got out from the shield I was laying over them. He tried to attack the blonde angel that was standing in front of us but he was halted by an invisible force that sent him to the floor. The most excruciating pain Emmett could ever feel was making him to bend on his knees.

"Nothing could make me happier than that. I've waited so long for this moment and I won't waste my chance to hurt her." Jane replied pointing her little white finger at me. She never lost that sardonic smile. "You never listened to Caius and Marcus' words, _changed or dead,_ rules are rules."

"Aro won't allow it, you know that!" I yelled to her.

"As a matter of fact, Aro isn't in his best days lately. You mustn't know what it is to starve for weeks, but he surely does. He won't come here to save your ass as always. Caius and Marcus are fed up with you and your stupid love story Bella. If some sacrifice has to be made they don't mind to take Aro's life." Jane added with irony. "But you are so weak, you should've changed him before when you could, now it's too late and you will stay alone! Aro's already dying and Edward will soon."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew my shield was strong, but I had no idea how long its force could last and how many I could cover with it. If Caius and Marcus decided so, we were going to die.

"If Caius and Marcus need Edward to be like us to stop this massacre, then he will! Aro won't die!" Heidi stated. We were all so focused in Jane's actions that no one had realized that Heidi had already recovered from Jane's attack, and now she was holding Edward in her arms. My shield could do nothing to protect him. Heidi was already inside of it. In an unexpected movement, Edward offered Heidi his arm and allowed her to drink.


	25. The End is the Beginning

Chapter 25 – End is the beginning-

A deep growl came out from my chest. I'd never acted so vampire like until then. My eyes had never been black before. I hissed loudly and started moving from one place to another, threatening everyone in front of me. I was a dangerous predator and I was deciding between Jane and Heidi to be my pray.

Jane was paralyzed in front of me, she still couldn't believe one of us would dare to hurt Edward. She was determined to end with his life, that was the reason she had been sent for; but now the change had started she was hesitating. Carlisle and Esme surrounded Edward and Heidi with their bodies acting like a barrier from a next attack.

Heidi was still holding Edward between her arms. I was utterly hurt by her betrayal, she needed to pay but my revenge could wait.

Emmett recovered from the shock and met Jasper on his way to stop Jane. That gave me time to get closer to him. Edward's eyes were closed but amazingly there was a smile on his face. I had to see those green eyes before the change started. I wanted to remember their color and the boyish look of my love's face before it was too late. I was trembling with anger and pain. Heidi stood apart.

"I am sorry Bella, I never wanted things to happen this way. It must havebeen you. Please forgive me." She told me. Her sorrow was evident but I didn't answer back, I just hissed forcing her to leave.

"Edward I'm so sorry. I… I love you beyond words. I'd give everything to spare you the agony of this suffering…" I mumbled between sobs.

He opened his bright green eyes slowly, he was panting. "Bella this is my choice, I am happy. Finally we're even. I kept my promise." Edward told me. I remained there on my knees holding him tightly while he contorted in pain. His jaw was tight but not even a single noise came out from his throat, he was holding the urge of shouting and begging me to stop the pain. I hesitated for an instant; I could still suck the venom from his system and stop the transformation.

Alice approached to me slowly, I growled at her when I heard her steps. I was acting like a wounded lioness.

"Shhh, Bella. Don't dare to do what I guess you're thinking, you know it was matter of time; it was meant to be since always. I've seen it, you will be happy again, happy as you've never been before."

"I thought you couldn't see Edward's future because of my powers. You're lying, you just want to make me feel better." I told her.

"I can't see his future but I can see yours. Everything will be fine. Come on, I'll help you to bring Edward inside."

Alice and I stood besides Edward's bed during the transition. I couldn't do more but holding his hand between mine. My sister gave me a hopeful smile all the time; she needed to reassure me that it was the right thing.

Outside, a bloody battle was taking place. Alec was there trying to protect his twin. Rosalie, Esme, Heidi, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper were making a line to stop them from entering to the house to finish the task they were sent to accomplish. I felt as if I had lived the same scene before, very long ago. Suddenly, the noise outside stopped, there was only silence. Alice ran to see through the window what was going on. She was absolutely surprised.

"The Volturi…" she said, turning her face to me. She hadn't seen this happen. Her eyes were opened wide and there was fear in them. "Oh no, I did it again. Stay here Bella, I'll go to see what's going on."

I laid my shield over Edward's body and focused deeply on it. No one would hurt him ever again, no if I was around to stop it. No matter if the whole Volturi coven was there to kill us. I damned myself for my decision but I couldn't share my gift to protect my family this time; they had to deal with the Volturi by themselves. I shut my eyes and started humming my lullaby near Edward's ear; I brushed his hair and caressed his skin over and over. I wasn't going to abandon him during the painful process.

Some hours later, Carlisle stepped inside the room. "They're gone my dear. Edward is safe now." One by one, each member of the family came along, they were hurt and emotionally tired. We all gathered around Edward, his skin was getting paler and hard as a stone and his features were sharper. The change was almost complete.

"I'm sorry Bella, please forgive me." Rosalie interrupted the silence.

"There's nothing to forgive. We'll have time for explanations later. Now all that matters to me is him."

Carlisle held Esme between his arms, Emmett held Rose's hand and Jasper stood behind Alice holding her by the waist. They all smiled at us with immense hope. Edward opened his eyes abruptly, they weren't black or crimson; they were liquid honey. We found out that he was reborn with the same self control he used to have; he didn't crave for human blood. And he… he could read minds. I should've known…

"Welcome… " I said.

"I am so glad you are the first one I see through my new eyes. You are my beautiful angel." He answered.

I leaned my head over his and he gave me my very first kiss as a vampire; our first kiss, one I will never forget. It had been perfect.

The Cullen family was complete again, a coven that was meant to be together forever. After Edward got used to his new-old skills and he said goodbye to his human life, we planned our return to America. We had to go back to the place where everything had started but before that, I needed to say goodbye to Aroand Heidi. I had to thank them for the opportunity they gave me of being alive again. They had been with me my whole vampire existence and I loved them without regrets. Aro had taught me everything I knew and he had learned from me the meaning of love, unselfish love. Heidi had been my friend, my sister, my company; I could not keep any resentment towards her.

I could hardly believe how easy it had been for Carlisle to convince Caius and Marcus of releasing their brother from the dungeons and leaving us alone. If the old, tired, shallow vampires of the Volturi coven ever heard that Edward was reborn from death and given another chance, they would all try for themselves. Carlisle would create a massive suicide career among them only by giving them a little hope. Hope is a feeling not every soul is capable to deal with, some creatures just tend to take the easy pathway. Caius and Marcus knew that, so they took the evil twins with them and promised to release Aro immediately.

About Heidi… well… I took my "revenge" on her for what she did in her attempt of saving us all. After Aro was released and took his place as the head of the Volturi clan, we held a particular conversation. I told Aro about Heidi's feelings towards him and how she had risked her own life to save him from death. Within time, Aro fell round for her.

Caius and Marcus had the punishment they deserved, the one thing they ever feared of. Aro and Heidi left the fortress, and with them, the whole coven had followed. The two brothers remained in Volterra all alone, with no one left to rule, with no one left to feed them.

After going back to America, we all settled in Chicago for a while. Edward wanted to try luck at the Merit School of Music. Some years later we came back to Forks; Edward and I rediscovered ourselves and started our lives just where we had left them so many years ago. Charlie and our old friends were gone, never the less, the wolf pack was there to receive us.

**Well, I guess this is the end. Such a tragic story should have a happy ending, don't you think? I just wanted to thank to everyone that read and supported this story, specially to LivsMom, LisaBebe11, angel1hall and everyone who took the time to review. This story is for you guys. ;)**


	26. Epilogue

Epilogue

_Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end._

Anne Louise Germaine de Stäel

After traveling all around the world's most remote corners, years and decades come and gone, we'd always come back to the very same spot. A meadow lost in the northwestern forests of America.

I was sitting under the shade of a big old oak, an inanimate witness of our love. My back against its scraping bark, my knees bent to my chest and my eyes lost in the view of my beloved who was sitting between thickets of colorful wild flowers some feet away; never too far from me yet not close enough.

Edward's skin glittered with the sun rays, sparkling every hue of color my enhanced sight could discriminate. His flawless face never ceasing to amuse me and enamor me. He was beaming under the sun, exposing his wan skin to the warmth; his weight leaning on his elbows while his legs were stretched in front. His white tee flaunting the perfect muscles of his chest. He knew I was staring and he enjoyed it.

"Looking at something you like?" He asked without opening his eyes.

"Indeed, I'm enjoying the view very much…" I answered coaxing him with my most seductive voice. Edward opened his eyes, liquid honey pools for me to bathe in. I was biting my lower lip, fidgeting with my fingers while pondering of a way to ask something I've always wanted to know but never dared to voice.

"What is it love?" He asked me. Edward knew me as the lines of his palms; he could not hear my thoughts but he could read my face as an open book. Years had become our accomplices, making for us very easy to communicate without words. I knew every expression of his face just as he knew mine, yet, there was not a single day we didn't learn a new thing from each other.

"Well…" I hesitated, "I wanted to ask you something since a very long time ago."

"What has stopped you? I have no secrets for you." He answered, giving me my favorite smile.

"I haven't asked because I never wanted to pry on your past and anyway, you might think I'm silly." I confessed coyly. A crease forming between his brows with amusement.

"Nothing you can say or do will make me think of you as silly, Bella. Shoot beautiful." He bantered, bestowing me the right to ask anything I wanted to know.

"Well, here it goes." I sighed, looking for the courage to articulate the words. "Will you tell me about Esthella? That girl back in 1918?" I finally asked without looking to his eyes, staring at my fingernails as if they were the most interesting thing on the surface of Earth.

Edward's forehead furrowed a bit more, as if trying to remember a buried memory. "I read your diary you know? Don't tell me you don't know whom I'm talking about." I said pouting. As I spoke, understanding soothed his features and just like that, he burst in laughter!

"Are you scoffing me?" I asked with disbelief, throwing at him some leaves and pebbles my hands had found around my sitting form.

"Never darling! A lightning strike me before I dare to do that!" Edward crooned with a playful voice after he stopped laughing. I pouted even more and crossed my arms in front of my chest as a little girl about to throw a tantrum. He stood up from the spot where he had been sunbathing and approached to sit just beside me under the shelter of the old tree. He slid his right arm behind my shoulders, his big left hand holding both of mine, his gaze never leaving my eyes. "What?" I asked trying to appear hurt though I was fighting against exploding in laughter with the absurdity of the situation. I, Bella Cullen was jealous.

"Nothing, it's just that for a fleeting moment I thought you were jealous, but it can't be, right?" Edward questioned me with his eyes, teasing me with his up sided grin.

"What if I am?"

"Well, then I must take my words back and affirm you're in fact and after all… silly Bella." I nudged his ribs and pouted once more, surrendering into laughter at last. We used to spend time like this, teasing and playing around as teenagers and not as the old experienced beings we were.

"I promised I would keep no secrets from you, so if that's what you want to know, I will tell you about her." Edward stated leaving our antics behind.

For an instant I flinched, regretting of finally asking the one thing I didn't know about Edward's past; what if I didn't like what he had to say about that girl from his diary, the one he once thought of becoming the companion of his life. Edward read the hesitancy in my face and squeezed my hands in an assurance gesture and he began to speak.

"Esthella was a beautiful young girl," he started, "her mahogany brown wavy hair always smelled of strawberries and she had these deep chocolate brown eyes in which I could lose myself; her skin was fair and pale, as that of a porcelain doll." I wondered about the resemblance I shared with the girl, maybe Edward had always had the taste for brunettes.

"She was shy and quiet, both qualities expected of a well educated girl of that time. She loved to read, Austen was her favorite contemporary writer. And she was the clumsiest girl I've ever met, but I found that feature of her quite endearing." Edward stopped his tale glancing at me once in a while as if asking for my permission to continue. I nodded letting him know I was keeping up though the smoldering jealousy was growing inside my chest though I knew for sure that Edward was mine completely in mind and body.

"How did you meet her?"

"Her mother was a cellist at the conservatory. Once our gazes crossed one evening she accompanied her, we never stopped the flirting. Of course it was very innocent, we barely spoke with each other at first, it was all about body language; you see, in that time it was not proper for two teenagers to go rampant with public demonstrations of affection, not if they hadn't been properly introduced and approved by the parents."

"So then what happened?" Curiosity took the better of me and now I needed to know the whole story. Edward sighed deeply and continued his tale, rubbing my hands with his thumb every now and then.

"Esthella started to visit the conservatory every more often with the excuse of listening to her mom to play, but I always knew she went just to see me. Within time, we started talking and knowing each other very well. And then… well, it just happened…"

I winced with Edward's statement but he didn't stop, he was determined to expel every memory he had of that girl. I was grateful for his confidence but never the less, I was aching. "What happened?" I asked without wanting to hear the answer.

"I fell in love with her Bella, deeply and madly in love."

"You never wrote anything that deep in your diary, I thought she was only a girl."

"I'm a guy Bella, guys don't write about those things, guys don't even keep diaries. But she was _The_ girl, and has always been, until now." Edward finally explained bashfully, making emphasis in the word _the_. I shook my head trying to discredit his words, he was killing me with them. I felt deeply hurt and betrayed and if I could've cried I would've had. I made an attempt to stand up and run away from him, of the truth that he had just told; but he grabbed my wrist before I could move.

As always, Edward read the emotional map of my face and ran his cold finger through the roads and summits of my face, as if he were trying to remove inexistent tears from my cheeks. "Don't you see it Bella? Esthella, Isabella… I wonder what name you would be given in your next cycle of life if you had not been turned into one of our kind." He said calmly, pleading me with his eyes for understanding.

And I understood. That girl back in 1918 was no other but me and Edward recognized my face and my smell when I first stepped inside that biology classroom in that small high school of Forks. Ninety years later. I was Edward's singer since my soul was picked from the pond of souls, from the place where everything starts; and our souls were meant to be together by The Picker of souls. I was now aware of the miracle Edward had experienced first hand. Death had separated us once, then twice, but I had been reborn to find him, the same as he did; and the cycle would have gone over and over until our souls were finally together finding the paths our Fate had written for us. For those who don't live an eternal life, the cycle would repeat itself until each soul found their match and then go back to the pond, to Heaven. For me, every hour spent with Edward in this physical and tangible life was Heaven.

As Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, Aro and Heidi, Renee and Phill, Edward and I touched our own chord that will vibrate in eternity.

_Never the spirit was born, the spirit shall cease to be never. _

_Never was time it was not, end and beginning are dreams._

The Bhagavad Gita.


End file.
